I have been dating someone with HSV2 and before we have sex I want to know whether or not my choice will put anyone else in the household at risk.  Is there any chance of transmission to children (not thru birthing) that I should consider.  He is very hesitant to put me at risk, but I love him and am willing as long as I am not putting my children or others in the household at risk.  Also how high is the risk of transmission to me if I perform oral sex on him (not during an outbreak)

There will be absolutely no risk to your children if you acquire HSV 2 from your partner. 
In order to help determine the degree of risk to you, I need to ask first - is he on daily herpes medicine? 

Terri
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No - he has only had one outbreak and does not feel the medication is necessary.

The medicine isn't just for outbreaks - it also reduces transmission by almost half and it has very few if any side effects for most people.  I think it is an easy, safe and effective way to assist in transmission reduction.  Let's say he does agree to take medication. In a situation where the male is infected with HSV 2 and the female is not, having sex about twice per week,  condoms used, yes to meds, no sex during outbreaks, the transmission rate is about 2-3% - that is, in a year of this situation, 2-3 women out of 100 will become infected genitally.  I am assuming you will be using condoms.  Virus can be transmitted when no symptoms are present.  We don't have statistics about transmission via oral sex but I would think it might be slightly lower as the virus does not like the mouth much and if acquired there, recurs infrequently and sheds infrequently

Terri
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