[Question #24] herpes

99 months ago
I have been in a monogamous relationship for 1 year and we will be married.  he has never had symptoms and never had any while we have been together but i just got diagnosed with herpes and i know i got it from him even though he has never had symptoms.  i have never had symptoms and had a blood test that tested negative for hsv 1 and 2 before i started dating him.  if we are in a monogamous relationship and i got it from him, we have the same strain of the virus, does it matter if we have unprotected sex since i already got it?  also if i perform oral sex on him does that put me at risk for something or does it no longer matter bc i have the virus in my body?  
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
99 months ago
Good morning Lucy,
May I ask how you were diagnosed with herpes?  Did you have symptoms or a blood test or a visual exam? 
If you do have herpes, and you have the same strain of the virus, it doesn't matter if you have unprotected sex, you will not pass this back and forth.  You will not trigger outbreaks in each other or put you at risk in any way.  If you only have genital infection at this point, you might want to wait 4 months for this to get well established before you are the giver of unprotected oral sex to him to avoid getting this in a new place (the mouth).  Can you give me a few more details about your situation?