[Question #2402] Follow on to #2382

45 months ago
Hi Drs.,

In my previous question I was certain that no penetration occurred because I could see what she was doing nearly the entire time, which was brief to begin with.  She had 2 hands on it so most was well outside her vaginal area for the majority of the frottage.

Then my anxiety set in and I started asking myself if i was absolutely sure, reading through your questions and answers from other posts, etc.

I'm certain that I would have noticed if she put me inside due to the different feeling, but what if the tip just brushed her vaginal opening?  

She herself said before the act "no sex" which was exactly how wanted it.  Even when I went to touch her vagina she made me use hand sanitizer and stopped me at the slightest push of my finger into her opening so I feel she is healthy and wishes to remain so.  I would think that she would have stopped if my penis also got too close during her frottage.

I'm sorry to return, but I guess writing this out makes it clearer in my head.

Assuming the worst that she has hiv and is not on treatment (which I hope is unlikely), what is my risk?  
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
45 months ago
I'll bet you have predicted exactly what I am going to say. Therefore, my reply is brief. I'm glad writing out your concerns "makes it clearer in [your] head", but that's really not the purpose of this forum.

Your penis just "getting too close" is not a risk for HIV or any other STD. Even if she has HIV and not on treatment, your risk from this event was zero.

As I said in two different replies in two of three threads you posted right after one another a year ago, "Repeated anxiety driven questions are against forum policy...[and are] deleted without reply and without refund of the posting fee." This will have to be your last until and unless you have a genuine risk, e.g. unprotected penile penetration into another person. This policy is based on compassion, not criticism, and is designed to reduce temptations to keep paying for questions with obvious answers. In addition, continued answers tend to prolong users' anxieties. Finally, such questions have little educational value for other users, one of the forum's main purposes. Thank you for your understanding.

HHH, MD

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44 months ago
I do thank you for your frank reply, and I'm aware anxiety is a major issue.

I was really just concerned that there could have been very brief entry when I lost sight of what she was doing momentarily.  I keep telling myself that she wouldn't have allowed it to happen as she was in control, I think I would have noticed a difference in feel if it had, and from reading older threads it seems you were not concerned in those:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV---Prevention/HIV-brief-exposure---freaking-out/show/1964258


H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
44 months ago
I agree the old Q&A you found confirms the same advice you were given in this an dyour previous thread. However, i would encourage you to totally stop searching the internet or other resouerces for more information about this exposure and risks. If you look hard enough, you surely will find information that inflames rather than calms your irrational fears. Just stop; you can rely on the reasoned, science-basd advice you have had already.

If you have any more questions about it, ask them now; otherwise this thread will shortly be closed.

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44 months ago
Thank you.

To summarize:
My situation was nearly identical to the thread I referenced with the possibility of very brief and shallow entry.  Probably no entry other than in my imagination.

What would my odds be of infection with very brief / shallow entry?

And I should stop worrying and (no other exposures) can safely have unprotected intercourse with my Spouse.

That's about it as I see it.

Again, thank you for all that you do and your patience with people.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
44 months ago
The odds you were infected were too low to measure. No way to put a number on it -- probably truly zero, certainly under 1 chance in a million.

That concludes this discussion. As noted above, this is your last permitted question on the issues raised in this and your other threads. Future attempts will be deleted without reply and without refund of the posting fee, for the reasons described previously.

Best wishes and stay safe.

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