A few weeks ago I had a massage and received an unprotected handjob and the massage lady briefly put her finger in my anus.  It was only in for a second or two and I asked her to remove it.  Am I at risk for hiv or any other std such as herpes from this encounter?  Can I have unprotected sex with my wife?

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question, which is brief and to the point. So is my reply.---

Thank you for your response.  I'm having some anxiety just wanted to run this by you.

Unequivocally, the "red spots" were not herpes, which a) isn't transmitted by hand contact, b) cannot appear sooner than 2-3 days after exposure, and c) doesn't cause painless redness that clears up in a few hours or a couple of days, which your spots probably did. Do not get tested:  the HSV blood tests are not perfect, and the chance of a false or misleading result is far higher than the chance you were infected.---

I'm having a hard time moving on from concern.  Are you sure I shouldn't have a test after 16 weeks just to be sure?  The irritations took about a week to two to clear up.  Most likely cause I was manipulating them.  

The red spots were more like little cuts, again I'm trying to tell myself from the friction. 

You have my expert opinion and advice and these additional details don't change them. Inhe event you have an HSV blood test positive (either type 1 or 2) it won't be from the non-exposure event you are obviously obsessed about. You came to this forum for professional advice from (in all modesty) some of the world's top STD experts, but you are free not to accept it.---