[Question #2641] Oral sex nightmare

44 months ago

Hello,

You guys do a great job in helping people like myself. Since my worry has turned my life upside down I would appreciate your opinion on my situation.

I’m extremely concerned about my symptoms after unprotected insertive oral from a female at massage/spa in Spain March 1st. I was initially not that worried given the presumed low risk, but after getting symptoms such as sore throat, chills, neck pain, dry mouth and light sensitivity around May 10th I got extremely scared and started spending hours on sites such as Medhelp and the Body searching for symptoms, window periods, risk, testing etc. I realize my symptoms come late in regards to ARS, but I had convinced myself I was positive. I’m married with kids and have not had sex with my  wife since May. Before that it was protected since March 1st.

Testing: Duo 4th gen at 11 weeks, PCR, Rapid and Duo at 12 weeks and PCR and DUO again at 15 weeks. All testing in the US.

Testing negative on all tests, but I was not able accept the 12 week results since I had started to experience muscle twitching, weight/muscle loss, and floaters in addition to numbness in feet and hands (PN). I have seen two infectious disease doctors and they indicated I did not need to test after week 12. This kept me calm for about a week so I decided to test at week 15 in case I was experiencing late ARS in week 11 and to make sure I had a conclusive result beyond the 3 month window period.

For 3-4 weeks after the last test I was able to accept the results and focus on anxiety and stress reduction to get better, but I’m now right back with HIV fear since most symptoms are still present (just got a mouth ulcer yesterday) .

Most of my time spent worrying, on internet or with doctors (seen neurologists for twitching and PN, eye specialists for eye issues, and psychologist for anxiety) and neglecting my family, friends and work.

Would welcome any advice to get on with my life so I can become the husband and father I was before this nightmare began.

 

Thanks!

Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
44 months ago
Welcome to the Forum.  I will try to help.  It is time for you to face the fact that you do not have HIV and that following a no risk encounter (remember, there are NO proven instances in which someone has been proven to acquire HIV from receipt of oral sex) and when you combine this with the fact that it is statistically unlikely that your partner had HIV and your MULTIPLE negative HIV tests using different methods for testing, there is simply no way that you acquired HIV from the exposure you mention.  No possibility at all.  Your coincidental flu-like illness is just that, a coincidence and nothing more. 

My advice.  Stop testing!  Further testing will not change the result.  Instead, acknowledge that you have been overcome with anxiety (perhaps guilt related) and seek help.  That help should be  professional counselor. 

That's it.  No amount of "but, what about...." or "could ...." related statements are going to change my interpretation of your situation.  I hope this direct and emphatic response will help you to move forward.  You need to.  EWH. 
---
44 months ago
I appreciate your assessment and advice. I have tried to move on and told my self that insertive oral is very low risk, but ongoing symptoms that started after week 12 such as neuropathy, ( diagnosed by neurologist) numbness in hands and feet. Muscle twitching and cramping, light sensitivity, blurry eyes and floaters makes it difficult. In addition to random rashes, fatigue and other symptoms such as recent canker sore. 

I have a few questions that hopefully can put me at ease. In your experience have you ever seen someone develop ARS after 11 weeks (I had flulike symptoms then)? If so could this explain why I'm testing negative at week 15? Antibodies not detected yet so DUO test not effective? Maybe viral load to small to be picked up by PCR? Have you ever seen someone test negative at 15 weeks test positive later. I understand close to 99% test conclusive by 3 months, but if I had a seroconversion at week 11, I became one if the few that need 6 months?

Also, since this exposure was in Spain any chance it could be HIV2 which I understand could develop slower than HIV1. I don't believe the PCR test for HIV2.

Thanks
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
44 months ago
1.  not low risk- NO RSIK.  Your are not going to be the 1rst person to acquire HIV from receipt of oral sex.
2.  Your symptoms are non-specific and do not suggest HIV.

In answer to your questions:
1. In your experience have you ever seen someone develop ARS after 11 weeks (I had flulike symptoms then)?
    NO!!!  Person who have ARS typically have positive DUO tests. 

2.   Have you ever seen someone test negative at 15 weeks test positive later. I understand close to 99% test conclusive by 3 months, but if I had a seroconversion at week 11, I became one if the few that need 6 months?
    NO. 

3.  If you had HIV-2, your test would still be positive.

Your persistent focus on HIV is self destructive and unwarranted.  You need to accept your test results and move on.  EWH
---