[Question #2688] Incredibly worried and feeling guilty

43 months ago
Dear Dr,

I hope you can assist me. I made a terrible mistake and went to an erotic massage parlour in Canada. While I was there, the attendant rubbed oil on her body and massaged my penis with her breasts, hands, and 1 bum cheek, While my penis was touching the bum cheek she may have come in contact with her vagina to my testicles. Also I fingered her and had a hangnail injury (no blood but stings when putting sanitizer on it). She also gave me oral sex while I was wearing a condom (not sure if oil got on the condom.) She used her saliva to lubricate the condom, and I ejaculated into it. Some saliva may have come in contact with my penis. I was worried afterwards and the woman assured me she does not have any diseases, however I can not get this out of my mind. I am married and have regular sex with my wife. I can not sleep at night because of this. Is she in any danger, and am I at risk of any STD's, or HIV? I also have had genital warts in the past that have been more or less cleared up by my dermatologist. 
43 months ago
Dr, I forgot to mention. There was also some kissing with open mouth I believe. Not extremely deep but just open mouth. Thank you and sorry to bother you.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
43 months ago
Welcome to the forum and thanks for your confidence in our services. I happened to log in a few minutes after you posted it:  most users should not expect nearly real time replies!

You are not at risk of HIV or any STD from the events described, and I would not view them as a "terrible mistake", at least not from an infection risk perspective. Neither HIV nor any other STDs are transmitted by skin to skin contact, excpet direct genital-genital. And they are rarely if ever transmitted by saliva, which in fact is toxic to many bacteria and viruses. (Saliva kills HIV, for example -- and oral contact of any kind, such as kissing and unprotected oral sex, do not transmit HIV.) I would also stress that even among the most sexually active women, including sex workers, at any point in time, the large majority are not infected. Further, when someone believes and states outright that she is free of known STDs, usually s/he is correct. Kissing is risk free for all STDs. (Well, there is risk for HSV1, the cause of oral herpes -- but that's not considered an STD, and the risk is very low for any single exposure with a partner who doesn't have an obvious outbreak of cold sores.)

Your past genital warts do not increase your risk of any infection from this exposure.

So you really needn't worry about this. I do not recommend testing and would advise you to continue your normal sexual relationship and activities with your wife without concern.

I hope this information is helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

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43 months ago
Dr, Thank you so much for your response. I am still really concerned as when I called the city hotline they said I may now have herpes, hpv, or syphillis. Additionally, today, 5 days after my "exposure" I have a small red area (maybe a little bumpy) only on my lower scrotum that is causing me pain when I touch it. Burning a little bit. I did shave my testicles perhaps a week ago? Can herpes appear only on the testicles? Am I at any risk of herpes? Thank you so much. I am truly freaking out now. It is possible that her vagina came in contact with my testicles while rubbing her bum cheek on my penis. This is obviously very concerning. Do I need to be tested for herpes? Really looking forward to your reply, and thank you again. 
43 months ago
Essentially I am wondering am I at any risk of herpes from the exposure I describe, and is this a typical presentation of herpes? Do I need to go get tested for herpes? I have had intercourse with my regular partner an am incredibly concerned. Thank you. 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
43 months ago
Most agencies that operate phone information services take very conservative positions:  if there is any theoretical risk at all, they say so, without regard to the actual size of the risk. I've given you my assessment of the chance you were infected with herpes or any STD, i.e. very close to zero. And your description of the red spot on your scrotum is not typical herpes. However, I cannot say for sure, and if there were direct oral contact with that spot, the possibility of herpes should be considered. If that's what it is, the bumps will become blisters and pimples or open sores soon afterward (within a few days). If this happens, or if you otherwise remain concerned, you'll need to see a doctor in person (preferably someone with lots of experience in genital herpes and other STDs, such as a local public health STD clinic). If you do so, be sure not to mess around with the red area in the meantime:  no squeezing or other manipulation, no medications, etc.

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43 months ago
thank you dr - so just to confirm, no risk at all for hiv/chlamydia/ghonorrhea/syphillis, tiny risk for herpes (hsv1 from blowjob with condom or hsv2 from contact with buttocks)

are lesions only on scrotum in one tiny area beside each other a typical presentation? or more likely to be ingrown hair or something like that? thank you 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
43 months ago
Can't say zero risk for syphilis or HPV, which in rare cases are transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. This definitely is not a typical presentation for herpes. I can't comment on or guess about other causes, ingrown hairs or anything else. However, if close inspection reveals a hair either inside or emanating from each red spot, that would favor folliculitis or ingrown hair.


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43 months ago
Dr, sorry and I promise this is my last reply. I am simply concerned because in the first post,  you said I am not at risk of hiv or any std's however now it seems I am at risk. I am so sorry but I am freaking out and just want some answers. Do I need to be tested for anything? If this is herpes, in the next few days the bumps will change dramatically correct? Thank you very much. 
43 months ago
and you would say zero risk for hiv no matter what correct? absolutely no need to be tested for that yes? thank you 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
43 months ago
Your risk indeed was zero for all practical purposes. However, nobody can say that such contact is truly zero risk, but if no such cases ever are seen in busy STD clinics, and if such transmission has little or no biological plausibility, it's close enough to consider it zero. I still do not recommend testing for anything; if somehow I were in your situation, I would not be tested and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry. (That assumes the scrotal red spot(s) don't look or behave like herpes, which I cannot for certain from your description.)

And yes, if the scrotal red spot(s) are herpes, in the next 2-3 days they should evolve as described above. 

That concludes this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Best wishes and stay safe.

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