Indeed oral sex can be considered safe sex. It isn't completely free of STD risk, but far safer than unprotected vaginal or anal -- virtually zero risk for some STDs (HIV, for example) and very low for all of them. I would judge the risk from protected vaginal and unprotected oral to be roughly the same. From a standpoint of HIV, for sure this was a zero risk event for all practical purposes -- both because HIV remains rare in females in the US, even commercial sex workers, so it is unlikely your partner was infected; and because the nature of the exposure was virtually no risk.

So I would not advise testing and see no reason you should not continue unprotected sex with your wife, and that's what I would do if somehow I were in your circumstance. However, nobody can say the risk is absolutely zero. But I'm not you, and if you remain nervous and negative testing would reassure you, feel free to go ahead. But in the meantime, the risk is definitely low enough that you need not 'fess up to your wife or stop having sex while you await the results. We're talking about a risk in the same order as being hit by a meteorite. Nobody can give a guarantee against such rare events, but nobody should take special precautions to prevent it.

I hope this has been helpful. Best wishes--  HHH, MD

Anyway, thanks for the thanks. Have a great Thanksgiving and holiday season.

Yes you can move on without further worry.

That completes the two follow-up comments and replies limited by forum rules, so ends this thread. Best wishes, stay safe (as you have!), and do your best to stop worrying. Happy holidays.

This clarification doesn't change my opinion or advice. There are no proved cases of oral to penile HIV transmission. One estimate from CDC was that if it occurs, the risk is in the range of once for every 20,000 exposures. That's equivalent to receiving BJs by infected partners once daily for 55 years before transmission might be considered likely. And as I said in my initial reply, "HIV remains rare in females in the US, even commercial sex workers, so it is unlikely your partner was infected". If we assume a one in 1,000 chance your partner had HIV and 1 in 20K transmission risk if she did, we're talking one chance in 20 million that you caught HIV. In other words, zero for all practical purposes.