[Question #2821] nervous breakdown by thinking too much

42 months ago
Hello Doctor

I've been very restless reading all sorts of things over the internet and just need your assistance with answers directed towards me please

i had prolonged deep kissing with tongue with a woman along with fingering, which i deeply regret and its just making me paranoid and crazy thinking if i have put myself at risk of hiv ? i don't know about cuts etc which everyone keeps speaking of and there were any other mouth issues. i just need a simple answer please

also, can i just move on hopefully and not test even ?
42 months ago
logically i would like to think that if kissing would cause hiv then it would be a global catastrophe since every other person would have french kissed someone

its just upsetting how some sites still quote it is a risk, anyhow having a response directed towards me should put me at ease

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
42 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.

I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me you are functioning simultaneously on two different levels. On one level, you understand intellectually that kissing is not a risk for HIV, and you give a very good reason for concluding that. You are exactly right:  if kissing could transmit HIV, obviously HIV/AIDS would be much more common than it is. On the other level, you remain fearful of HIV despite that logical and accurate thinking.

Kissing is not known to transmit HIV. Anyone can write anything they want on the internet; and some people and even some professional sites may advise that kissing is a risk for HIV. However, the scientific evidence is otherwise:  to my knowledge, there has never been a proved case of HIV transmitted by kissing, or by fingering. Even oral sex carries no risk. Without intercourse, HIV is not sexually transmitted -- or so rarely it can be ignored. Also, the chance any particular sexually active woman in the US has HIV is under one chance in a thousand, so it is very unlikely your partner has HIV. But even if she does, you were not at risk.

This is an HIV/STD site, not one for psychological advice. Nevertheless, I would advise you to concentrate on the logic and the science and try to use it to overrule your emotional reaction. Also, don't confuse your anxiety over a sexual decision you regret with disease risk from that decision. They aren't the same. Deal with the former as you need to (counseling?), but you truly should not be worried about HIV or any other STD.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isnt clear.

HHH, MD

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42 months ago
Thank you for taking out the time for a detailed response. I would not proceed for any testing then as suggested considering it not being a risk

Also, may i resume unprotected relations with my partner since my only unfortunate incident with the other person was deep kissing with tongue
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
42 months ago
I agree you should not be tested for any STD and can safely continue unprotected relations with your regular partner.

Thanks for the thanks about our services. I'm glad to have helped.

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41 months ago
Hello,

With all  due respect, just had one follow up please. A friend pointed this out from avert.org and they have done the last review on 17 oct 2017

Has there been any new update to consider it low risk or is this again a repeat of the usual theoritical risk and no proven or scientific risk?

I have alot of respect for both of you here and how you're helping all of us relieve our anxiety, hence please do not mind me asking this but just wanted to check.

Kissing

https://www.avert.org/hiv-transmission-prevention/myths


There is such a small amount of HIV in the saliva of an infected person that HIV can’t be passed on from kissing. There is only a risk if you both have large open sores or bleeding gums and blood is exchanged.



H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
41 months ago
I agree with that statement. Theoretically HIV could be transmitted by kissing, but if it happens, it is exceedingly rare. As far as I know, there has been no recent update on risks from kissing. To my knowledge there have never been any proved cases of HIV transmission by kissing. Of course you are free to be tested for HIV if you would like the additional assurance of a negative test, even though there was no risk. It's up to you

That concludes this thread. Please do not be tempted to start a new thread with additional questions about HIV and kissing. Repeated questions on the same topic are discouraged. Thank you for your understanding. I hope this discussion has been helpful.
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