[Question #2988] Questions about HIV

40 months ago
Hello Dr,

To provide you a background I have been married almost 9 years and have only had sex with my wife (first and only).  I have made mistakes and have been to a few strip clubs and
received lap dances, touched breast and butts, but i was always clothed.  Can I get HIV from this? 

Also back in March of this year (almost 8 months ago) I visited a couple asian massage parlors and got a full body massage with massage oil, the first one was brief becuase i left early and it was basically the arms and feet, but i left early because I didnt want a male performing the massage.

The second massage was a full body massage with massage oil performed by a woman, it was my first time ever trying those places out, I never got a hand job and kept a towel over my private parts, she basically rubbed down all the other areas (60 minutes). Can HIV be transmitted this way?

So the bottom line is my wife recently got sick this month and I was hoping its not related to what i did by visiting a massage parlor/lap dances.  When we saw a doctor at the urgent care, they said it was a viral upper respitory infection, and she has been coughing alot with mucus, she develop hives with this that seems to come and go, minutes, hours, or days (chest, back, face, arms, stomach, they are very random) (which she has never had before).  She also vomited and had diarea the other day,
I have been very worried and havent gotten much sleep and loss of appetite because I haev been so worried about the what if HIV thing for over a week.

Before she got sick about 2 or 3 weeks prior, we both got bit by bed bugs and believe she was also bit by a spider, she had 3 bites, they were raised, painful, red and had puss (maybe due to her scratching it)  that same week we one night we also found the spider in our covers and killed it (so we assumed thats what bit her along with the bed bugs.  It's just the whole process the last 30  days have been so confusing and I'm just ready to move forward with peace of mind.  Shes getting better now, but still currently experiencing hives and minor coughing, mucus.

I have never had any symptoms or any STD and just want to make sure by what i did did not cause her to be sick.  She has a history or asthma and is allergic to Ibuprofen since it makes her asthma worse.

Im just so confused by all of this and hope and pray I did not catch HIV.

Please help.

Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
40 months ago
Welcome to the Forum.  I'll be glad to comment. The short answer is that you are in the clear.  none of the events/activities you describe place you at risk for HIV or any other STI

To provide a bit more information, HIV is spread ONLY through penetrative sexual contact or injection of infected material deep into tissue.  HIV is not spread through touching, rubbing or even by non-penetrative contact with an infected person's genital secretions as may occur in the context of masturbation or mutual masturbation.  There is no reason for concern related to any of the sorts of contacts you describe- not for HIV, not for other STIs.

The respiratory tract illness your wife is experiencing does not sound at all like something that might be related to HIV. Coughing up mucous is not a sign of HIV infection.  From what you describe, I have to agree with your doctor- this sounds more like the sort of community acquired viral respiratory tract infection that most people get from time to time than anything else.  Hives can certainly be part of this sort of illness. 

I hope these comments are reassuring and helpful.  EWH
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40 months ago
Thank you Dr.  Also, what about the massage oil that was used and the rubbing of the massage oil on skin for an hour/previous customer secretions ?  Or if i had a minor cut on my skin? Being that the massage event was almost 9 months ago now (the strip club was 2 or 3 months ago),   

Also please assist me in my reassurance as I am ready to move forward and not have to worry about every little health issue or bump that may appear on my skin (pimple or bed bug bite, who knows).   My wife is better now and the hives have went away within a week when she was sick and i hope they never come back again.  

Lastly, what about the person or persons that said they got HIV from a massage on this forum? (a guy on google claimed this i recall) Are they confused ?  Maybe they had unprotected vaginal sex or blaming the infection on the massage when it actually came from something else?  Are all of the answers from the Drs and this site from years of study, data and facts?  I know i cant let my situation be someone else situation, but facts are facts since you cant get HIV from a massage right?

Please help reassure and encourage me so I can move on now.  Thank you for your work on this much needed forum.

Thank you
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
40 months ago
HIV is not transmitted by touching our rubbing, even in the unlikely circumstance that your masseuse had HIV.  Yu need to stop attributing every pimple, bump and sore to HIV that you are not at risk for. 

Persons who maintain that they acquired HIV from massage are mistaken.  In study after study, non-penetrative contact has not led to HIV infection.  Please stay of the internet and work to move forward.  I hope you can address your guilt and anxiety.  EWH
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40 months ago
Thanks Dr.  As for my last follow up.

I just caught a sore throat yesterday and diarrhea/bowel movement as well.  So just coincidence at this point and not related since I was never at risk correct?

Thanks for your help.  I will now move on, after your next reply, you may now close out this case.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
40 months ago
Correct.  Nothing you describe is associated with risk for HIV or other STIs.  It is flu and sore throat season and I would assume that your recent sore throat and loose bowel movements are coincidental.  Anxiety can certainly affect bowel function as well. 

As you have acknowledged, this will be my third response to your questions.  Thus, as per Forum guidelines this thread will be closed in a few hours.  Take care.  EWH
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