[Question #3017] Risk of Exposure

39 months ago
I recently received a lap dance with deep kissing and kissing and sucking of the lap dancers breasts and nipples, however,  I remained fully clothed. I am aware she is also a prostitute as sex was offered but declined. As this is out of character for me and I am married it has made me very nervous of the possible exposure to HIV and other STI’s. Please can the following be answered:

1) Was there any risk of HIV or other STI’s e.g. Syphilis;
2) ShouId I get tested and if so, how long after the event;
3) Should I refrain from unprotected sex with my wife;

I hope I am overreacting so apologies if I am wasting your time. Many thanks in advance.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
39 months ago
Welcome to the forum. You are indeed overreacting somewhat, but there's no need for apology!. We're happy to answer any and all questions on people's minds.

We get quite a few questions about lap dances and similar events. The answer is always the same:  there is simply no risk for HIV or any STI from such events. They call them "sexually transmitted" for a reason, and the events you describe don't count as sex for infection transmission puproses. Kissing could transmit oral herpes, but that's not considered an STI and the risk is low anyway. Syphilis could be transmitted by kissing, but almost never is -- and anyway, the large majority of syphilis these days occurs in men having sex with other men, and the chance the lap dancer had syphilis is very low. Oral contact with non-genital skin, including breasts and nipples, is completely fisk free.

So the answer to all three questions is no:  no risk for syphilis, no testing is necessary or recommended, and you should continue your normal sexual practices with your wife. Going forward, do your best to separate your feelings about a sexual decision you regret from disease risk from that decision. They aren't the same. Deal with the former as you need to (maybe including discussing it with your wife?), but you can disregard the latter.

I hope these comments help ease your concerns. Let me know if anything isn't clear.


39 months ago
Many thanks for the response, that is very reassuring.