[Question #3152] Physical Contact - STD Risk

40 months ago
Dear Doctors, thanks for your prior help.  I'm now married with an infant baby. I have been loyal and made a stupid mistake 2 days back. I went to a strip club in Asia with friends, which did not seem like a regulated or nice place and that is one of cause of worry. A female stripper approached me and to seduce me put my hands in her blouse and I touched her breasts for two minutes with my bare hands, she licked my left ear with a lot of saliva and she did put her finger in my mouth for a few seconds but I didn't really suck on it and I pushed it out - I did not let her kiss her in the mouth, I refused sex, and both of us were fully clothed all the time. There was no form of sex. I could not see if she had cuts in her mouth/tongue (however her lips looked fine), breasts or her hands, as it was fairly dark. Its been two days and I'm very worried given the baby at home. I also do have a fissured tongue.  I'm particularly worried about her licking my ear (near the cavity) with saliva and putting her finger in my mouth which were both unexpected by me. I feel like an idiot. Do you think it was any risk? Can I continue providing baby care and kisses? Can i resume my unprotected sex life with my wife? Do I need to go for any test, particularly HIV? Happy New Year and thanks again. Your reply will help me a lot.
40 months ago
Dear Doctors, my apologies and I know in your previous reply you had told me that I do not need to worry at all unless I have unprotected vaginal or anal sex - which I obviously did not, I'm really nervous now as I don't know if she had cuts or sores on her hands, any cut (if any) was at least two hour earlier before this incidence as she was sitting with my friends for 2 hours and didn't cut her hands then. However, I'm not sure if she had any cuts or sores otherwise from prior time.  Would that change your analysis? For the last 6 hours, hopefully because of anxiety, I have been having a bit of white warts on my tongue, bit upset stomach and burning sensation in my hands. It's day 3. I have a one month old baby and I'm really very scared - I didn't even want any of these things to happen. My biggest worry is hiv and syphillis.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
40 months ago
I'm sorry you are having trouble believing or accepting the advice you have had. Cuts or sores on a stripper's (or anyone's) hands never transmit STDs. You are NEVER at risk for HIV or any STD unless your penis enters another person's vagina, rectum, or mouth. Period. There are no exceptoins. And if you ever have an STD, your child will never be at risk of catching it, assuming no sexual abuse. Your tongue "warts" amost certainly are not warts at all (everyone's tongue has various bumps, variations in surface characteristics, etc),, and upset stomach and "burning sensations" are not STD symptoms. Neither your child nor your wife is at risk for anything from your strip club adventure, and you can safely continue your normal sexual practices with your wife.

It is apparent from all your threads that you are irrationally obsessed with STDs despite not being at risk. I would advise you to reconsider your occasional visits to strip clubs or similar settings (just don't do it!) and that you also seek professional counseling. I suggest it from compassion, not criticism. It is not normal to be so fearful of such things despite the reasoned, science based reassurance you have had several times on this forum and perhaps from your own doctor(s).

There will be no further discussion on this thread. There is no information that you can provide that would change the fact that you were not at risk or that would alter our professional opinions or advice. If you remain concerned, I would advise you to re-read my reply here and the discussions in all your previous threads. Future questions like this WILL be deleted without even this much reply.

But I do hope this information proves helpful to you. Believe it, accept it, and do your best to move on without worry. Happy new year.
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