hello, I am a female and am HSV negative for both 1 and 2.  I have just entered a relationship with a male and have recently found out that he has HSV-1, but since his first- oral -outbreak 12 years ago has only gotten 1 more maybe 2 in his whole life. So a total of 3  cold sores, tops, in 12 years.  He was also married during those 12 years and as far as we know she did not contract it. I have read up on herpes extensively so I am aware at the risk of shedding and possibly transmitting it to me through oral sex. My question is, with his very infrequent outbreaks, how much of a risk am I taking. I have read that HSV1 sheds much less , and I have read that the chances of shedding go down even further as the years go by.  Would it be crazy for him to take a suppressant even with his infrequent outbreaks?  Would taking medication take the chances so low that it could ease my mind?   I take great care in my health so I am a little more paranoid than the average person, maybe. Or are the odds so low with his infrequent outbreaks that I'm being ridiculously paranoid?  Also, I have been through this once before, but he had 1&2. (we used protection) I came out of that relationship with a huge amount of relief and made a promise to myself that I would never go through that again- the paranoia was just too much. And here i am again. 

And here you will be with more than half the men that you meet in our lifetime between 14 and 49.  And the IgG test for HSV 1 misses 30% of infections compared to the gold standard western blot so you just getting an IgG test to see if you have HSV 1 (70% of those infected don't know it) is not going to be a final answer.  If indeed you find out that you are not infected, it would be reasonable to him to take daily antiviral therapy and if you are very worried, avoid receiving oral sex.  How safe you want to be is really your call and your sexual experience.  HSV 1 in people with symptoms of recurrent disease shed virus on 25% of days measured.  People with fewer recurrences shed less but he's kind of in between these two groups - probably more toward the group that is positive but doesn't experience symptoms.

Terri
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Hello Terri , thank you for the response. Ok , I was under the impression that antiviral therapy was more for HSV2 , but it sounds like it's not completely unreasonable for him to take it for 1 .  I am sure he would agree to that, especially if it were to ease my mind, but I am wondering if there are any side effects to antivirals ?  I am surprised that he would be anywhere in the 25% range of shedding given that he has had no more than 3 total , and mild ones.?  I am sure you don't like to give percentages ...but with his infrequent outbreaks and if he went on antivirals, is there an educated guess on a shedding rate.? I was tested for the second time , just recently after a year of celibacy, so it's safe to say I am negative. Yes, I'm starting to see the odds are going up of falling for a man who has HSV given how common it is becoming. Very different than when I had my babies 18 years ago.

Lots of people with troubling cold sores take daily suppression for HSV 1 and it works very well. 
There are very few side effects to antiviral medicines - I've had people on them for 30+ years. 
And remember that the IgG test misses 30% of HSV 1  compared to the herpes western blot so you may or may not be infected - hard to say with that high a miss rate.
I'm sorry, I don't have a percentage guess - somewhere less than 25% though!

Terri
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