[Question #3235] worried about hiv

38 months ago
Hello.
Im 35, male from israel. Yesterday I visit a massage parlor with another friend. I was drunk so my judgment wasn't so good. The place offers a erotic massage and oral sex and no penetrations. My massager was a russian-israeli lady. Sge offered me a condom protected oral, I asked her If it can be done without condom and she refused and told me the condom is for the safty of her and her clients (I was drunk never did it before) so I give up  the oral, and asked her if I can lick her vagina and anus and she agreed. I performed oral on her for couple of minutes, licked her vagina and anus. My oral condition is good, I have no visible cuts or sores. 
Today I walked up and felt so bad about what I did and start to afraid about hiv. Afraid to risk my wife if will make love. Feel so stupid to risk my marriage for fantasy with csw. Dont no nothing about her (csw) health condition but she told me she's a lot of years in this business. Please help me to know if it was risk event (assuming she's hiv positive), if you think I need test for hiv, am I need to avoid sex with my wife?
Thanks a lot.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
38 months ago
Welcome to the Forum.  I'll try to provide information which I hope will be helpful.  Your activities are virtually no risk for HIV.  Most commercial sex workers do not have HIV and given your partner's strong refusal to perform oral sex on you without a condom, it is unlikely that she was infected.   Further, there are no documented cases in which men have acquired HIV from having oral sex performed on them (even without a condom) or from performing oral sex on a woman (the term for this is cunnilingus).  Similarly, there is no known risk for HIV from licking the anus of an infected person.  Thus, my advice is not to worry about HIV from the activities you describe.  I see no need for testing and no reason to abstain from sex with your wife. 

Should you engage in these activities in the future, I would also ask you to ask your partners if they have HIV.  Most people will tell you the truth.  I hope this comment is helpful to you.  EWH 
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38 months ago
Thank for youre kind answer. Im feel much better now and you helped me to come down.
Youre saying it was zero risk for hiv, but suggest me to ask in the future for my partner status if I will be at the same activity. Im really trust youre opinion, but can you please explain to me the conflict.
If it zero risk activity why the status metter. I hope to avoid those kind of a activties in the future.
Will try to forget this event and move on fast.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
38 months ago
sorry of that suggestion seemed contradictory.  My answer was based on the fact that often one sort of sexual encounter can lead to another.  Knowing one's partner's STI and HIV status is helpful in deciding about preventative measures such as condom use.   I suggest that all of my clients do this regularly.  EWH
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