[Question #3301] Massage hands/finger/saliva

36 months ago
45yo male, visited Asian massage parlor yesterday. Lady looked well traveled, at least 40. She's wearing nothing on bottom half. Here's how it went, play by play: gave me oiled back rub, me lying  naked on questionable towel. Hands eventually went to scrotum and butt. She got naked and rubbed breasts all over my backside and crack. Kissed my ear, stuck tongue in. Her pubic hairand vag grind on my elbow. Had me turn over, she rubbed arms and legs then asked if I wanted to f***? BJ?  Handjob? I opted handjob. She started, lucked precum off my shaft. I said no mouth. She went to town rubbing vigorously for at least 3-5 minutes (long time, until raw) with oil, meanwhile I fingered her vagina and sucked/grabbed breasts. She breathed heavily on my tip. I finished, she kept rubbing my penis. Deed done, she wiped me down with hot wet questionable towel, including my fingers.
Now my worries:
Her vagina felt weird, like my finger wouldn't fit the hole (swollen). But it was wet  and she winced with pain when I tried to enter. I had broken scab on my finger.
She licked my penis.
If she's willing to have unprotected sex, she had to have done it many times already, with infected men. I have to assume she has hsv/hpv.
No worries about hiv. I Worry about sti and std, herpes, lice, scabies.
I'm married for 16 years, she was a virgin at our marriage, and this is my first sexual encounter outside of marriage, ever. She has never had another partner. My previous wife of 5 years was not virgin at marriage, but no hint of STDs or other partners.
I worry about herpes and other stis, and critters.
I went back later and asked if she's tested and clean, she said 'i clean no worry!' I pressed, she said "test last week!" Would not produce paper with results. Herpes? She pointed to leg, "look, I clean!" I didn't notice any thing during the massage, but I didn't know to look at the time. She said I was crazy. Am I? Will I pass anything to wife? I can't sleep or eat I'm so nervous, waiting for a breakout to



36 months ago
When will this be answered?
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
36 months ago
So I hear your worry over this encounter.  The good news is I don't believe that there is anything here that put you at risk of acquiring an STI including herpes.  Nothing.  Let's say that she did have some kind of STI (and we don't really know for sure because no papers were produced).  The part that's so good is that you did nothing that would put you at risk - even if she did have something.  None of the contact that you had with her was risky in any way.  Even the fact that she briefly licked your penis worries me - the contact was just so brief and so limited, would you agree?
In these situations, it's sometimes hard for the person involved to step back a bit and analyze the details, rather than the whole experience.  That's what I'm here to do - help you evaluate the risk or lack of risk with specific behaviors, and I'm just not worried here.

Terri
---
36 months ago
Thanks so much. I still have no symptoms.

So to put words in your mouth, please tell me if you agree:
I can have sex with my wife without worry
No need for testing
No worry for warts in 6 months
Zero risk for anything
You have never seen any herpes with this kind of exposure as described









Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
36 months ago
I don't believe you need to test and can have sex with your wife without worry.
Let me take a step back about HPV.  We know that HPV can be found in all sorts of places - under fingernails, for example.  By the time a persons has had five sexual partners, there is an 85% chance that they have some type of HPV. I know you said she was a virgin but maybe you were not?  And if she hadn't had intercourse with anyone else, I'm guessing it's possible she might have had hand to genital contact at some point in her life with someone else.  And it's been 16 years since contact with anyone else happened for you.  So she would most likely have had symptoms of HPV had she come in contact with it or at least an abnormal pap smear. 
I cannot tell with you with 100% certainty that you couldn't have come in contact with HPV at this encounter.  It is truly an animal unto itself.  I will say that I think the odds of you getting HPV are incredibly low here - enough that if I were in your situation, I would have sex with my husband without any worries at all. 
And no, I have never seen herpes acquired in this situation ever.

Terri
---