[Question #358] Terrified I have an STD and passed to my wife

34 months ago
Hi doctors,

I am desperately seeking advice about a transgression I had one week ago. I went to an nyc Asian massage parlor and got a hand job from the masseuse. The sequence of events was as follows: masseuse undressed completely, I fingered her for maybe a minute, she rubbed her breasts against my penis, then gave me a hand job with some type of oil, as well as used her tongue strictly on my testicles until I climaxed. The encounter lasted a few minutes at most. She left the room to get a hot wet towel and while she was gone, I used hand sanitizer that was in the room, thinking it would nullify any possible pathogens on my hands from her vaginal fluids. She came back in and cleaned my hands with the hot wet towel and then cleaned my penis with it as well. So to summarize, no insertive oral or vaginal sex of any kind. 

I thought nothing of the encounter from a risk standpoint, but have felt an immense amount of guilt. As luck would have it, my wife was in the mood the following morning and we had sex. This was a rare occuance because she's pregnant and we've had intercourse once a month on average. In the days that followed, I started to feel symptoms. I'm praying they're manifestations but I don't believe they are. I've read countless expert forum Q&A chats and realize that the science of how stds are contracted is on my side, but the symptoms I believe I'm experiencing counter that. I feel a leaking sensation after urinating - I will finish and what feels like a dollop of clear watery fluid will leak out. After wiping that away (which isn't something I normally would do or feel the need to do), I can pinch or squeeze a little more liquid out. Sometimes I feel it could look cloudy but slightly if at all. This has happened every time after urination starting a day or two after the encounter. I've felt a slight tingling at the tip of my penis after urinating, but no burning or discomfort while urinating. I don't notice any other discharge at other points of the day. 

My
34 months ago
I looked in my underwear the last few days and feel like I'm seeing mild staining. I went to a doctor for testing on Friday and did a telemedicine call with a doctor to explain the same circumstances. They both told me there was very low risk, but I had no physical examination and they didn't say anything about the symptoms. My wife had a routine pregnancy visit and they called her back yesterday and said that her urine tested positive for bacteria and she has to go on medicine (she already had a uti earlier in the pregnancy). They didn't mention further testing or that it was chlamydia or ghonnorea. So I am totally freaked out. I feel like logic would tell me it's in my head but what I'm experiencing and what my wife just found out, I'm terrified it's a matter of time before I find out I have ngu or chlamydia or ghonnorea or something and passed it to my pregnant wife. Please let me know what you think. Is there a good chance my worst nightmare is coming true?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
34 months ago

Welcome to our Forum.  I will do my best to help.  Guilt is a powerful force and when it combines with scrutiny far over and above the attention that most people routinely apply to their genitals, it is quite possible to convince yourself that you are experiencing new sensations, that you have abnormal penile discharge (most men have a variable but typically small amount of urethral discharge), or that your urination is not normal.  Further, repeated self examination can be sufficiently traumatic as to lead to creation of discharge from the trauma of repeated examinations.  This may be occurring with you.

The exposure you describe, as you have already determined was a no risk event for acquisition of any STI.  I would urge you to not worry.  If you are having difficulty doing that however, I would then suggest that you arrange to get tested.  New York has a variety of good options for confidential testing including the NY Department of Health STD Clinics.  I am confident the tests will be negative.  Further, I urge you not to seek or accept treatment "just in case" as unneeded medications can cause their own side effects which can be mistaken for STDs and only cloud the matter.  Further, should you take antibiotics without a firm diagnosis, that will not answer whether or not your wife is infected and needs treatment.  Please do not take antibiotics without a diagnosis. 

I hope my comments are helpful to you.  EWH

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34 months ago
Thank you doctor. As I believe I get one more follow up reply/question, I'd just like to include a few things.
- I was tested for chlamydia, ghonnorea, syphilis, and hiv
- for a routine urine test that my wife gets while pregnant, they found bacteria and will prescribe her antibiotics. Would the drug they'll likely prescribe (which I would assume would be chosen based on safe to use during pregnancy) treat chlamydia/ghonnorea if by some crazy chance it was that?
- would the hand sanitizer I used on my hands have killed chlamydia or ghonnorea bacteria if it were present in the masseueses vaginal fluids?
- is it possible that whatever bacteria my wife has present in her urine could be the cause of my symptoms? This would definitely not be something std related as its extremely unlikely  my pregnant wife would ever do anything like that. Does such a bacteria exist that would pass from one person to another via intercourse but could be contracted the way a uti would be?

Finally - a thank you for your attentive response and for a valuable service you provide. There's so much misinformation out there, it seems to do more harm than good. I really appreciate your help. I'll await your response, but I hope you have a very happy holiday season. God bless.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
34 months ago

In Reply:

for a routine urine test that my wife gets while pregnant, they found bacteria and will prescribe her antibiotics. Would the drug they'll likely prescribe (which I would assume would be chosen based on safe to use during pregnancy) treat chlamydia/ghonnorea if by some crazy chance it was that?

Probably not, depending on what antibiotic was prescribed. 

- would the hand sanitizer I used on my hands have killed chlamydia or ghonnorea bacteria if it were present in the masseueses vaginal fluids?
Yes, it would have killed gonorrhea and chlamydia, both of which have NEVER been shown to be transmitted by hand to genital contact to cause infection.  Again, this was a no risk event.

- is it possible that whatever bacteria my wife has present in her urine could be the cause of my symptoms? This would definitely not be something std related as its extremely unlikely  my pregnant wife would ever do anything like that. Does such a bacteria exist that would pass from one person to another via intercourse but could be contracted the way a uti would be?
I'm really not sure what you are asking here in this double what if question.  EWH
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34 months ago
She was prescribed nitrfurantoin. Would that work on chlamydia or ghonnorea?

The testing was done yesterday and I was told it'll take 3 days to get the results. 

I was trying to ask if the definitive bacteria found in my wife's urine could have an affect on me from when we had intercourse and be causing the symptoms I believe I'm having.

I'm just repeating the mantra in my head that there's no risk, there's no risk... I think until I see the results I'll be worried but I do feel hopefull after talking to you that I won't be the unluckiest person to catch an STD in an obscure way.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
34 months ago

Nitrofurantoin is not recommended therapy for gonorrhea, chlamydia or other STIs.  It sounds as though your wife is being treated for a urinary track infection, something that is not at all uncommon in pregnant women.

I am confident that your tests will be negative.  Take care.  EWH

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