[Question #3594] Low (?) risk encounters multiplied by numerous contacts: substantial risk?

35 months ago
Dear Dres., thank you for what you do. It is highly appreciated!
Sadly, my wife and I have stopped having sex some years ago. I have a tremendous sex drive, therefore I go to massage parlors regularly. I never have penetrative sex. Normally I just have handjobs. Sometimes I finger the girls (taking care no fluids are exchanged). I suck their breasts. Rather seldom there is a bit of bodysliding/frottage. After some worries (see last posts) I came to term with it that this is my "substitute" for sex with my wife and was at ease with my behavior. Just lately I increased the number of visits substantially. I have been to about 10 massages the last two weeks. I had a syphilis test last week and tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia today. Results will be back on Wednesday. One of my exposures, last thursday was a woman from Uganda, living for 15 years in Germany. She lay on my back naked and did some frottage on my front side but seemed very careful not to touch my penis with her vagina or mouth. I started to imagine fluid dripping to my anus or strange scenarios like this.. Last thursday I fingered one girl and Friday I sucked on the breasts of another. With a slight rise in the risk of my exposures (really) like fingering, nipple sucking and the woman of African descent my worry cycle started again. Horrible!
Here are my questions:
1) Do I even qualify for regular, periodical screening? If yes, is once a year OK?
2) Should I include HIV-testing? (no penetrative sex)
3) What do think about the very low risk may become substantial with a very large number of exposures?
Thank you doctor!
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
35 months ago
Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your question.  I'll be glad to comment, starting with a compliment for your commitment to safe sexual practices. No matter who often or how much, frottage, mutual masturbation, nipple sucking and other forms of non-penetrative sexual contact do not put you at risk for STIs.  You have nothing to worry about and do not need testing.

In answer to your specific questions:
1) Do I even qualify for regular, periodical screening? If yes, is once a year OK?
Nothing you describe warrants even period screening from a medical perspective. 

2) Should I include HIV-testing? (no penetrative sex)
No need for HIV testing at all.

3) What do think about the very low risk may become substantial with a very large number of exposures?
No, the number of exposures does not make the activities you describe higher risk.  Still no risk.  I would not worry. 

I hope these comments are helpful.  EWH
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35 months ago
Dear Dr. Hook, thank you very much! That sure does help! One more question that may be a bit beyond the scope of this forum: Can you give me any advice on how
I may break this horrible worry cycle? Just because your huge experience in this field.
Thank you so much!
Karl 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
35 months ago
No sure which "horrible cycle" you are referring to.  If it has to do with the lack of sex in your marriage and your continued (normal) sex drive, my advice would be to speak with a counselor.  Some might argue that the right thing to do is discuss and inform your wife of your feelings and  your efforts to pursue your sexual satisfaction safely.  OTOH, depending on the circumstance,  it may be best to say nothing.    Sorry I don't have more help.  I do think that good sex/marriage counselors who provide confidential services can be quite helpful in such situations.  EWH 
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35 months ago
Dear Dr. Hook, I couldn't shake my worries. I kept checking my penis carefully and now I have found a little spot, just one 1mm in diameter at the upper front side of the shaft. It is solitary. What can it be? It could be a fordyce spot but normally they are just at the backside of the shaft. But it is so little it is even a bit hard to find. If I show that to my doctor he will perhaps laugh me out of the office... Do you think it is normal and considering my safe encounters that I can let it go?

Kind regards
Karl 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
35 months ago
The more you check, the more normal findings you will notice that you have not noticed before.  Please stop the "crotch watch", it will not help you. If you develop STI-related lesions they will be obvious and will evolve (grow).  I cannot examine you and can not comment on what the lesions might be but I am confident that it is not related to the encounter you described and is not something to worry about.  My advice would be to not worry about it and to let it go (literally and figuratively). OTOH, if you cannot stop looking at it, see your doctor.  He/she will likely assure you that it is nothing to worry about. 

As you know, we provide up to 3 responses to each client's questions.  This is my 3rd and thus this thread will be closed later today without further responses.  Take care.  Please don't worry.  EWH
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