We have had mutual masturbation which we know is safe according to your posts so up until yesterday I thought I was fine.

Last night I masturbated when alone and noticed a cut on my finger afterwards which was a bit sore. I fingered her five days ago with that hand(but not that finger) but am stressing whether the cut was there then,  surely I had would have noticed a sore (paper cut) on my 4th finger for the last five days if it was, I think I may have done it packing some boxes yesterday but cant be 100% but cant think I wouldn't have noticed for five days.

I am now worried about the following:-

1) I could have got herpetic whitlow from fingering her 5 days ago (if the cut was there)?

2) I  have now transferred the herpetic whitlow it to my genitals to give me genital herpes as I masturbated with a cut and used the same hand? 

Are either of these two possible?

3) I am also stressing that when we did masturbate each other when she touched me after touching herself her body fluids could have got into my finger from being on my penis and me touching it after she did, is this at all possible as I read it genital herpes cant be transferred by bodily fluids but if a cut is present does this change it in the case of herpetic whitlow?

4) Lastly to catch herpetic whitlow do sores have to be present for this to occur as that's what I read? I didn't see any sores and she said she is not having an outbreak so I am a bit lost on whether I am at risk of getting herpetic whitlow in the first place?

Please help, I am going round in  circles and am very stressed.

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Is it possible that you could get whitlow from fingering her?  Yes, is it likely, no.  And even more of far reach that you could give yourself genital herpes by masturbating with that finger.  You would need a significant break in your finger for herpes virus to enter the skin - the skin of the finger is too thick for virus to penetrate with an obvious break.  And if you did get whitlow, you would definitely notice it.  I've seen lots of whitlow in my years of practice and it's quite noticeable - a group of painful blisters on a reddened base.  I don't think it's something to wonder about - I believe that you would notice it. 

To reduce the risk of transmitting herpes to you, your partner should consider taking daily antiviral therapy.  And do you know for certain that you don't have either type of herpes - that is, have you had a test to know that?  Have you ever in your life had a cold sore?  If yes, then you also have HSV type 1 and if she doesn't know her type, it would be good to find out - maybe you are the same not different.  It would be good to know all of this.

Terri