[Question #3986] sti/std from lap dancer

33 months ago
Hi doctors, friday night I drunkenly went to a strip club, I had a lap dance from a couple of girls(I was fully clothed through out), they rubbed their intimate area over my private parts, I licked both their nipples, one of them kissed my lips. Also both put their mouth around my penis briefly and bit teasingly and may be sucked slightly. I also touched their legs, breasts and buttocks during the dance. After i got home about 20 to 30 minutes later I masturbated and touched the urethral opening( was sore and still is)of my penis without washing hands. Im really scared because I finally thought Id put my fears to bed by getting tested for every sti possible through better2know uk, but then Friday night like an idiot I go to a strip club. 

Am I at risk of any sti's especially hiv from:

1. Kissing the one dancer 
2. Nipple licking both 
3. Both putting their mouth 
   around my penis, biting and 
   sucking for a few seconds, 
   despite penis being under my 
   jeans and boxer shorts and 
   not epxosed? 
4. Also could I have gotten genital herpes or hiv if I touched the parts mentioned and somehow came into contact with vaginal fluid and touched my urethra opening and masturbated at home 20 to 30 minutes later without washing hands? Im worried because penis tip feels odd now, burning and tingling and urethra hurts too at times(not when urinating) also i see  spots at back of penis when retracting and stretching foreskin tip area but diseappears when relaxed.

5. Also im worried about red marks I had on face when home(not sure if lipstick or blood) , I rubbed that with spit and hands prior to masturbating and touching would, it be a concern if it was blood?

Do I need testing? few doctors have said no risk here in the uk as have sexual health heplines as it was not direct contact, but jeans and boxers aint condoms. 

I also went to my local accident and emergency for pep but they said no as its not risky and because pep is expensive. 

Any opinion would be greatly appreciated.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
33 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your confidence in our services.

Some questions can be accurately answered based only on the title chosen by the user. That's probably the case here. Even before I read the question itself, I can say that lap dances are entirely risk free. Without direct genital penetration or at least unclothed penis coming into contact with a lab dancer's genital area or receiving oral sex, there is no risk for any STI.

Now I have read the rest of your question. There is absolutely no risk of any infection of any kind from this event (except common colds, influenza, etc).

Those comments really cover your questions, but to be sure there is no misunderstanding:

1) Kissing is risk free for any and all STIs. Of course could transmit colds etc.
2) No risk from oral contact with skin, including breasts and nipples.
3) No STIs can be transmitted through clothing.
4) Herpes is not transmitted by such indirect contact. Nothing to worry about.
5) Contact of pimples, scratches, or other "red marks" -- on the face or anywhere else -- is not known to increase risk of STI.

Of course no PEP after this sort of event. The local emergency department was exactly right to refuse that request.

So you can put this event behind you, with no worries at all about any STI, including HIV. I hope these comments are helpful.

HHH, MD
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33 months ago
Hi Dr Handsfield, Thank you so much for the quick reply. Just some follow up questions, hope you don't mind. Numbers are coded to previous points I made and your answers.

2. One of the ladies was older, and big breasted and mentioned she had kids, if heaven forbid she was lactating and I came into contact with breast milk and she was hiv +, would I be at any risk?..not sure if I did, if all I did was lick and not suck, but keep worrying if id got breast milk  swallowed and had an ulcer or sore in mouth would it poise a risk?

3. Even if I ejaculated and she may have got spit on my jeans and maybe some of her vaginal fluids on my jeans?

4. I see, any idea why I'm experiencing tenderness and tingling and burning in the urethral area? could it be psychological or maybe from friction due to the lap dance? also one woman had some odd looking spots on her torso/abdominal area, could that have beem herpes and if I had touched by mistake and touched my urethral area and masturbated without washing hands(20 to 30 mins after, could i contract it(herpes)?

5. I meant I had a red stain om my face from the stripper kissing and not sure if it was lipstick or her blood, if it was her blood and I rubbed it off with my spit and touched my penis from masturbating and my urethral opening(20 to 30 mins later, could that infect me with hiv?

Hope you don't think im being a pain or going round in circles, just thought I'd gain clarity and tell you everything so you can make an accurate judgment and not a false sense of confidencd, no malice intended.

Thank you.


H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
33 months ago
2) Exposure to breast milk is not as risky as you seem to think. When infants are nursed by their HIV positive moms, after 6 months only 15% of the babies acquire HIV, swallowing a few ounces of milk daily. There is no risk at all from oral contact with the trivial amounts that might be present in the situation you describe, if the lady were lactating.

3) HIV and other STI bacteria are filtered out by cloth. Even if moisture were to soak through, there would be no measurable risk of transmission.

4) Since it is not possible you acquired any STD, these symptoms cannot be due to an iinfection from the events described. The psychological explanation is the best bet.

5) Sorry, I misunderstood. But even if it was blood, blood on the skin (face or anywhere else) or even some in the mouth is low risk for HIV. And 30 minutes later there would be no surviving virus anyway. Finally, it is statistically unlikely these women have HIV.

Don't overthink this. In the nearly 4 decades of the worldwide HIV/AIDS epidemic, nobody is known to have been infected from events like these. Ignore any further thoughts about why there might be a risk. There is none, or at least too low to be at all worried about. In any case, there's no need to apologize, and you're certainly not "being a pain" of any kind. Don't interpret our direct replies as criticism! They certainly are not intended in that spirit.
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33 months ago
Hello Dr Handsfield, thanks again for replying so quickly and answering my question. Just some final follow ups.

1. You said kissing is risk free from all stis. what if she had blood on her lips and kissed me in areas where I shaved(back and side of my neck due to excess hairiness) and plucked hair( front of my neck because due to unwanted hair between beard and chest hair) 6 plus hours prior to the strip club visit?..dont recall seeing active bleeding but was bleeding slightly during the shaving and plucking(6 hours prior the strip club)

2. Your answer Re niple licking and breast milk.. I understand now.

3. Your answer Re: mouth over clothed penis.. I also understand now

4. So you said herpes cannot be transmitted by indirect contact after touching the ladies and possibly vaginal fluid and touching my urethral opening and masturbating 30 minutes later. Did you mean hiv can't be transmitted either? Also in late may i had exploratory surgery on my testicles area and have scabs and a scar, if my unwashed hand that had touched the ladies and possible vaginal fluid from my hand came in contact with scabs or tiny cuts or the sore scar would i be at risk of hiv or other stis? worried the lap dancers excess rubbing over my clothed genital region may have opened the tiny scabs and caused some bleeding and cuts that's why i ask.

5. If I used my unwashed fingers after the strip club( 30 minutes later) incident to remove contact lenses, could that have put me at risk for stis? Would you say even if i didnt wash my hands after touching the ladies' buttocks legs and breasts and possible vaginal fluid and then touching my urethral area and rest of penis, puts me at no risk for sti as 30 minutes later they would all die outside the body?

Apologies again Dr Handsfield, just getting all these what ifs and variables that keep coming in my head now. Keep worrying that what if I have hiv or and sti and ruin a poor womans life who i really love(im single but looking to date and start a relationship at some point).

Do you think a 28 day full sti check for hiv duo and rest of blood borne and urine stis/stds would help if it means putting my fear and anxiety to bed? I am seeing a counsellor too about my anxiety. 

I'm sorry again to burden you and if you feel im repetitive and clutching at straws. Thanks again.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
33 months ago
Call it "clutching at straws" if you wish -- whatever you call it, you are way overthinking all this. These all are "yes but" or "what if" questions. I agree with your self assessment that this is your anxiety speaking, not any realistic risk of infection.

1) When we say that kissing is no risk, we mean there is NO risk regardless of the kinds of details you ask about. In the past few decades there must have been billions of kisses with the additional features you describe, but still no cases of STD or HIV transmission.

4,5) Same for indirect contact and herpes or other STI transmission. Again, there must have been billions of such events and yet no known herpes transmission.

Whenever someone is worried about HIV or other STIs, testing usually is a good idea, even if the risk was nil:  many anxious persons are more reassured by negative tests than by expert opinion based on probability and statistics. (But of course this doesn't justify testing to excess. Usually a single test is sufficient.) Chlamydia and gonorrhea testing are valid a few days after the last exposure, but 28 days is too early for syphilis and HIV testing, which should be done 6 or more weeks after the last possible exposure.

That concludes the two follow-up comments and replies included with each question and so concludes this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful.
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