[Question #4184] HIV or STD from Massaging, Nipple Pinching and Fingering (Rectum)

32 months ago
Hello once again Dr. Hook or Dr. Handsfield,

19 months ago I posted question #1599 HIV or an STD from Fingering (Rectum).

I am ashamed to say I had a similar event this weekend with a man in an Adult Bookstore.

Dry Humping (my backside) and massaging my crotch all done with my pants on. I believe his pants were also on.

Pinching my nipples outside my shirt (a long sleeve Columbia UV shirt - thin material).

Kissing my neck several times and massaging my back and chest with his bare hands, I told him to stop.

Massaging my rear end and rectum on top of my shirt (it covered my rear end) with  his hands. I do not believe he touched me with his bare hands.

We finished with me ejaculating in to his hands ( I did not see any sores or open bleeding cuts , but the back of my hand did touch his palm). I made sure he did not touch my penis or scrotum. What concerned me was that he then swallowed my semen. 

I asked him after the event if he ever got tested for HIV (negative) and we said he did at a Pride Event in July of this year. I checked online and indeed the event had testing but the month was wrong, not sure if I believe him. 

I have the following concerns and questions:

He was masturbating with his hands (I think he had eczema because his hands were rough) and touching me?
The risk from this event seem @ zero for HIV, but other STD's ?
Syphilis, Herpes, Crabs and Scabies can be transmitted by touch, would my pants and shirt protect me ? 
I am married to a women and we have unprotected sex can I safely continue or do I need to be tested?
Is this common for married men to engage in such activities like I describe? 
Any suggestions on how to stop this bad behavior?

Thank you

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
32 months ago
Welcome back. This question is in many ways along the same lines as your previous two, over a year ago.

STDs are not just infections that happen to involve the genitals. The viruses and bacteria causing them evolved to require especially intimate contact for transmission, i.e. the overt exchange of genital fluids or direct apposition of moist, infected surfaces. For many of them, the organisms must have access to specialized cells that typically are deep inside the body. If these infections could be transmitted by less intimate contact, including those you mention, they would be a hundred times more common than they are and wouldn't be classified as sexually transmitted in the first place.  In other words, no unprotected intercourse almost always means no STD risk. To your specific questions:

STDs are rarely if ever transmitted through hand-genital contact, even when genital fluids are used for lubrication. True for all STDs, not just HIV and syphilis. While nobody can make a 100% guarantee you cannot infect your wife, but I would put the chance at well under one in many million. If somehow I were in your situation, I would not be tested and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry.

Neither I nor this forum are experts in broad aspects of human sexual behavior. I would guess that the large majority of married men do not participate in the sorts of non-marital sexual practices you describe. However, even a small percentage comes to many married men nationwide, perhaps in the millions (?). I guess you'll have to decide whether this is "common" or not. I'm also not a behavioral scientist, so I have no special insights on how to modify such behaviors. I would just point out that such behavioral and lifestyle changes usually require expert advice and assistance in the form of professional counseling.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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32 months ago
Dr. Handsfield,

Two more question with hopefully easy answers.

Syphilis, Herpes, Crabs and Scabies can be transmitted by only by "direct skin to skin" and with some amount of friction (I read this in a previous thread , I am paraphrasing what was said)?

If yes, fortunately I did not encounter that (even if the chances of infection are low).

Regardless, clothing makes little difference( but it could not hurt) as a barrier because all STD's are rarely if ever transmitted through hand-genital contact, even when genital fluids are used for lubrication ?


In summary:
Thank you for the advice in regard  to expert advice and assistance in the form of professional counseling.
Seek some professional counseling to modify this behavior.
"While nobody can make a 100% guarantee you cannot infect your wife, but I would put the chance at well under one in many million". 
"If somehow I were in your situation, I would not be tested and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry".

I appreciate your time, advice and patients with me and everyones that uses this forum.

You certainly have taken a heavy load off of  my shoulders, I will certainly sleep better tonight thank you very much.

You have been a great help !!!!!!!!!!



H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
32 months ago
Well, I disagree that clothing "makes little difference" in transmission risk. It makes lots of difference. No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing.

Otherwise, your summary is an accurate description of my opinion and advice.
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32 months ago
Dr. Handsfield,

Thank you for clarifying my question in regard to clothing, "No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing."

In regard to Lice, Crabs, Scabies (I have heard these called not an STD at times) etc., this would apply to the statements and questions listed below ?

"No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing."

"STDs are rarely if ever transmitted through hand-genital contact, even when genital fluids are used for lubrication. "

I have read that lice, crabs and scabies are most transmitted by sex but close physical contact is also a risk?

I do not believe that I am at any risk from the event I described, do  you agree?

As a precaution would using an over the counter like RID make sense in this matter?

Syphilis and Herpes an be transmitted by only by "direct skin to skin" (including a sore on the hand) and with some amount of friction, Dr Hook told me that he had not heard of a case of this happening.

I do not believe that I am at any risk (because  of the clothing) from  the event I described, do  you agree?

Bottom-line, "Well, I disagree that clothing "makes little difference" in transmission risk. It makes lots of difference. No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing." makes a lot of difference in my case.

Sorry for the additional repetitive questions, I am just trying to cover all my bases and move on from this event.

I appreciate your patients with me and I thank you again for your help in this matter.





32 months ago
Dr. Handsfield,

I know you have been busy with the holiday and filling in for Dr. Hook.

Can you please answer me back on my last questions listed below.

Thank you for clarifying my question in regard to clothing, "No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing."

In regard to Lice, Crabs, Scabies (I have heard these called not an STD at times) etc., this would apply to the statements and questions listed below ?

"No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing."

"STDs are rarely if ever transmitted through hand-genital contact, even when genital fluids are used for lubrication. "

I have read that lice, crabs and scabies are most transmitted by sex but close physical contact is also a risk?

I do not believe that I am at any risk from the event I described, do  you agree?

As a precaution would using an over the counter like RID make sense in this matter?

Syphilis and Herpes an be transmitted by only by "direct skin to skin" (including a sore on the hand) and with some amount of friction, Dr Hook told me that he had not heard of a case of this happening.

I do not believe that I am at any risk (because  of the clothing) from  the event I described, do  you agree?

Bottom-line, "Well, I disagree that clothing "makes little difference" in transmission risk. It makes lots of difference. No STD or other infection can be transmitted through clothing." makes a lot of difference in my case.

Sorry for the additional repetitive questions, I am just trying to cover all my bases and move on from this event.

I appreciate your patients with me and I thank you again for your help in this matter.



H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
32 months ago
Yes, "close physical contact" can transmit lice and scabies. These infestations can be viewed as sexually transmissIBLE, but not always sexually transmittED. They probably cannot be transmitted through clothing, but might be transmissible by the kind of exposure you described. There are no data on RID as a prevention treatment. I suppose it would work, though. i agree with Dr. Hook about syphilis and herpes transmission.

I don't understand your comment quoting my correction of your earlier comment about transmission risk. The fact is that you were at no risk for most STDs, although I suppose lice and scabies might be possible. But who cares? Nobody wants either of these, but they are properly viewed as minor inconveniences, not important diseases.

Thanks for the thanks. I'm glad to have helped.
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