[Question #4293] I am freaking out and the anxiety is getting me

31 months ago
Please Help.

I went to an asian massage parlor two days ago and gave into temptation.

She put a condom on me and and gave me oral and than we had vaginal sex in two positions her on top and then me. I was not able to ejaculate as I was nervous. So she took the condom off and gave me a hand job which did not work either. She than put the same condom back on and we tried vaginal sex one more time (me on top) but I still did not ejaculate. So we gave up. I felt horrible over my actions as I am in a commited relationship and I very much regret what I did and did not sleep that night. All I have been doing is obessing on the internet. The very next day( yesterday) my upper thighs starting having this burning pain. There are no sores, rashes, or bumps of any kind it. My upper and inner thighs just burns. 

I went back there to beg her if she had anything and she assured me that she uses a condom every time and is always careful and not to worry as she would not take chances and it would hurt her business. She said she takes care of herself and is fine. 

I have not been able to eat or sleep since then. Today is Day number 2 and the thigh burning is still there and now the bottom part of my butt crack has the same burning feeling and the tip of my penis (which could be from masturbation). It comes and goes. There are no sores, bumps or rashes .. just this burning pain. I am writing to you through tear stained eyes. Do I have an STD??? HIV, Herpes, HSV?? Im so worried of the non curable ones .. actually all of them. I wish I could take that day back. Is my anxiety causing these symtoms or is this burning indicative of something else?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
31 months ago
Welcome to our Forum and thanks for your question.  I'll be glad to comment and to assure you that the symptoms that you describe in no way suggest an STI.  Let me expand on my comments.

First let me point out that it is unlikely that your partner has an STI, including HIV.  Most commercial sex workers do not and even when they do, only a minority of unprotected sexual encounters result in infection.  In your case, your partners assurance that she routinely uses condoms add to the improbability that she had an STI of any sort.  Then, in addition to this, you used a condom for all exposures and condoms remain the most effective means of preventing STIs when one is exposure to an infected sex partner.  You can also be confident that your condom did not fail since when condoms ail, they break wide open leaving no doubt that they have failed.  I see no reason for concern and no reason for testing.

As for your symptoms, the symptoms are not symptoms of any STI including herpes and HIV.  You anxiety may be contributing to these symptoms.

Finally, let me urge you to stay off the internet as you seek to determine what is causing your symptoms.  While the internet is a great place for communication, when it comes to medical advice, much of what is there is incorrect, out of date or taken out of context. 

I hope these comments are helpful.  EWJ
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31 months ago
Thank you so much for your quick reply. I am so thankful for your response!

Yes I have been obessing on the internet and it has not helped but made it worse. 

I don't think I will be able to live with myself or have unprotected sex with my partner in good conscience unless I get the 10 panel test. I have already scheduled it. I just hate how long I have to wait with some tests being weeks out for a valid result.

I will take your advice and stay off the internet concerning this topic until then, but I will print cling to your answer in the coming weeks for my own sanity.

Thank you so much and I will be in touch if there are any further developments.
31 months ago
Just a follow up - It is Day 3 and I now have a burning sensation in my anus along with diarrhea. Is it possible to have these type of std symptoms without having anal sex?

I didn't eat much yesterday but had coffee. I'm hoping its just that.

Also do I need to worry about the skin to skin STDs? I know nothing about them. 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
31 months ago
The exposure you describe would not lead to diarrhea or anal discomfort.  These symptoms are unrelated to the exposure you describe.

Condoms reduce the risk for "skin to,skin" STIs as well.  I really would not worry about these exposures from the exposure you have described either.  EWH
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31 months ago
Dr Hook,

I am spiraling. I've had two separate panic attacks over this. Please let me know if I am worrying for nothing.

It is now Day 16 - I have been experiencing a constant burning pain on my penis head this week ( though it was more noticeable after Masturbation on Monday. It burns when I pee as well. Sometimes when I put Vaseline on it it seems to helps. The burning on my thighs comes and goes. My anus burns ... went away yesterday and came back today after a bowel movement. I don't know if my anxiety is causing these symptoms or if it is something else.

On Day 12 - I was tested for Chlamydia, Gonorrhoeae, Trich, and RNA HIV-1. Thankfully they have all come back negative. Do I need to retest these later on?

My biggest worry at this point is Herpes. I don't see any visible blisters or sores. I saw a tiny bump that freaked me out so I went to Urgent Care.  The doctor there said from a physical examination that it was did not look like Herpes. Do my symptoms sound like Herpes? Would there be any tell tale signs? I remember now that when she was giving me a hand job after she took the condom off that it was vigorous and she was rubbing my penis head during. Would this maybe cause the burning? 

The reason for my anxiety is he told me that since I took the condom off and than reused it 10 minutes later that I essentially made it useless. Is that true? When she put it back on me she put it back on all the way and said it looked fine. He also prescribed my antibiotics. Two pills a day for 5 days. Should I take these? This was before my results came back.

I'm so sorry for the long message. I'm just in a very bad .. dark place right now. I'm not eating .. I'm hardly drinking anything but alcohol to calm my nerves. I can't wait another 4 weeks to be tested for Herpes. I don't know if I can make it. Maybe I should be tested for UTI?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
31 months ago
I'm sorry you continue to worry. You are over reacting.  The test results you have PROVE that you did not acquire gonorrhea, chlamydia or HIV from the encounter you describe. Further, the nature of your continuing symptoms really do not suggest any STI including herpes.  You have also be examined by a trained clinician who saw nothing to worry about.  I expect that the medication he gave you was mostly to help with your considerable anxiety, not because he though there was any infection.  The description of your symptoms and even the bump you noted sounds nothing like herpes.  I see no reason for any sort of HSV testing for you related to either your symptoms or the exposure you described.  .

There is no doubt that you did not use the condom correctly. condom re-use is recommended against but nonetheless all available evidence indicates that you did not acquire an STI from your exposures.  You need to accept and believe this.  Drinking will not help. 

I urge you to accept that you did not get any STI from the encounter you have described.  You need to move on. If you cannot, my sincere advice is to seek the advice and help of a trained counselor to help you work through your over-reaction and anxiety. 

As this is my 3rd response to your questions, this thread will be closed shortly without further replies.  I would not suggest any need to return to this site- there is nothing more to say to repetitive questions.  I do wish you the best.  EWH
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