[Question #4347] Dumb mistake in Spain

32 months ago
Hi Dr.
I am a bisexual male married to a woman. 2-3 weeks ago I was in Spain for work.  One night the first week I met a guy and gave him oral sex and received condom protected anal sex. He said he was tested negative in August and I checked both condoms after and they did not appear broken.

The next week in Madrid, I made the very stupid mistake of going to a gay fetish club in Madrid.  There all I did was some kissing, mutual masturbation and some giving and getting oral sex. Later in the night I saw some unprotected anal sex happening from some of the patrons. I became worried that I may have given one of them oral sex after one of these encounters. Would them having had given anal sex a few minutes before me performing oral sex change the risk of transmission?  I know these people were higher risk so that’s why I limited my behavior to oral sex. 

 I always have drenching night sweats when I dream, so night sweats didn’t occur to be odd to me.  The past two days I have had some muscle aches despite not having lifted weights or anything.  I plan on getting a full battery of std tests when I am 6 weeks out, but I’m the meantime:

1. Can you assess my std risk based on these encounters, especially as it applies to hiv?
2. Based on the exposures I described and the level of safety i attempted, in your opinion, do you think it is safe to commence unprotected sex with my wife, or should I take a higher than usual level of caution and not engage on unprotected sex with her until I have 6 week negative tests?

Thanks.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
32 months ago
Welcome back to the forum. However, having glanced at your previous discussion with Dr. Hook 3 months ago, it appears that your current questions are almost exactly the same as last time. So it shouldn't surprise you that my answer are the same, and are brief.

1) Among the sexual events described, the anal sex was the only potentially risky one. But you used a condom which remained intact, so there was little or no real risk. In addition, it sounds like your partner didn't have HIV; people usually don't lie about it when asked directly. As Dr. Hook explained last time, the other events were entirely risk free in regard to HIV, which is not known to ever be transmitted by kissing (or so rarely that it doesn't matter). Even if your kissing and mutual masturbation partners had HIV, you were not at risk of catching it.

2) I see no need to change your normal sexual practices with your wife, and no need for HIV or STD testing on account of the events described, at 6 weeks or any other time. Of course, you are always free to be tested if the negative results might be more reassuring than my advice. But I wouldn't feel any need for it if somehow I were in your situation.

You mention symptoms but don't ask about them. I'll just say that muscle aches alone are not a symptom of HIV or any STD.

Let me know if anything isn't clear. Best wishes and stay safe--

HHH, MD
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