Hello,

Six days ago I received lap dances from several women. They wore G-strings while I wore boxers and jeans. They did not touch my penis but I touched the exterior of their G-strings and surrounding areas (upper legs, buttocks) with my hands. I’m not sure if vaginal fluid was present. I also briefly kissed a few nipples. After one dancer with such G-string area touching, I went to the bathroom to urinate. I briefly touched my penis to aim the urine, and may have touched near the tip or urethra. 

1. Am I at risk for HIV, Herpes, or any other STD? I’ve seen no signs after six days. I took a panel STD test after three days and was negative for everything, but I understand this may have been too soon.

2. One dancer gave me a quick peck on the lips. It was dim so I’m not sure if she had a sore.  My wife and I have since kissed. Should I refrain from further kissing my 37-week pregnant wife? If she were to contract oral herpes this late in pregnancy would it harm the growing baby? Or would it be okay because it would only be orally located, whether it happened to be HSV 1 or (in some strange way) HSV 2? What if she were to have a primary infection? We’ve decided to abstain from all vaginal, oral, and anal intercourse until birth to ensure the baby’s health. 

Thank you in advance as I’m very worried.

Welcome to the Forum and thanks for your confidence in our service.  STIs, including HIV are much harder to transmit than most people assume  For sexual transmission to occur unprotected penetration with direct contact between infected surfaces must occur.  No penetration, no transmission.  Further, STIs are never transmitted by touching or transfer of genital secretions from person to person on someone's hands (such as occurs with mutual masturbation and the sorts of contacts that sometimes occur when interacting with exotic dancers).  Finally, STIs are not transmitted through cloth, even when the cloth is wet with genital secretions.  Thus this was a no risk event.  Thus for your specific questions:

1.  No, you were not at risk and your 3-day testing for the most common STI pathogens like gonorrhea and chlamydia is reliable.  You are not at risk.

2.  After six days and certainly after 10, if you have not developed a cold sore you are not going to.  If the dancer had a cold sore and you have never had HSV-1 (remember, over half of adults like you have HSV-1 infection and do not know it), the chance of you getting infection form a kiss is tiny, less than a small fraction of 1%.  I would not worry that the kiss you describe infected you and I see no reason to worry, nor any reason for you to abstain from contact.  If your wife (not you) were to develop an initial HSV infection at this time, she should inform he Obstetrician but I am confident that this possibility need not concern you or her.

I hope this helps.  Please don't worry.  EWH

Thank you

The negative HSV-1 test does make it less likely that you have HSV-1, that said, I must also point out that this test misses about 25% of HSV-1 infections.  With regard to your specific questions:

1.  No, some patients acquire HSV without noticing symptoms. 

2.  No, HSV can be present at sites of infections without symptoms, a phenomenon called "asymptomatic shedding"

3.  As I said above, in the extraordinarily unlikely circumstance that you acquired HSV-1 and transmitted it to your wife, she should discuss the implications with her Obstetrician. 

I continue to believe that you are over reacting to your recent encounter with the exotic dancer.  EWH

Update:

As of Day 20, I’ve still seen no visible signs of STI. I’m sure I’m overreacting as there was no penetration whatsoever. For additional peace of mind, I'm considering additional testing. Am I paranoid? When would you say the following tests would be conclusive?:

1. HSV 1 and 2-Spec Ab, IgG w/Rfx

2. HIV Screen 4th Generation wRfx

Also:

3. Please confirm that briefly kissing/licking the nipples of two or three women’s breasts is not a risk for STD transmission, specifically HIV.  

Thank you again for this service, and in advance for your response. 

1.  PLEASE. Do not get a HSV blood test.  It is not a good test and in situations like yours is more likely to give false positive results rhan to diagnose herpes.

2.  The test you list for HIV is highly accurate with few positives.  Results are definitive at 6 weeks.  You are not at risk but if you must test for your peace of mind, the test will be negative.

3.  Correct, licking the nipples or breast of a person with HIV is a no risk event.

I hope this information is helpful to you.  You really are not at risk from the events you describe.  As per forum guidelines, this thread will be closed shortly without further answers.  EWH