[Question #4419] Follow up on 4401

30 months ago
Hello. I appreciate you checking my old threads and for your kind words. I unfortnately have another question that has come up that I would appreciate your expert advice on. As I wrote this I am in the waiting room waiting to see a therapist. anyways, here is my issue...
Not to rehash all details, had mutual oral with another man one time, he said he was married and disease free but I don't know this for certain. After seeking advice, I tested for several STIs, including HIV. My test was HIV 1-2 Ag/Ab, with negative for P24 and antibodies during the 27th day after this event. After this was negative I resumed sex with my wife. I wanted to get the syphilis window, so I had tests repeated during the 41st day after this event (approx six weeks). This was the same HIV test, all negative again. 
This weekend my wife was very sick. Felt run down Friday night, on Saturday she has fever, chills, aches and sore throat. By Sunday the fever and body aches were  gone but she still felt terrible. She began to feel fairly normal by Sunday night and  had slight diarrhea on Monday morning but otherwise felt fairly normal. 
In my anxiety, I can't get past the idea that these are ARS symptoms. I have not gotten sick, which one may think I would if this was a bug or the flu, and it makes me wonder.
I've seen different opinions on here about ars duration. Some may it can be a few days, and others say it's not a day or two but usually at least a week.
Given the 24-36 hour fever and 48 or so hour illness, does this seem unlikely for ars? And would my low risk event, plus negative tests at 27 and 41 days make you think I'm just being paranoid? Should I retest? Sorry for being anxious despite previous advice and my tests...it's just that if this fear ended up being true my life and family is over. Thanks for your help. 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
30 months ago
In a previous thread you stated your awareness that we discourage repeated, anxiety driven questions. Surely you understand that this question is exactly that.

One of the main points the previous discussions was that the HIV blood tests are among the most accurate diagnostic tests ever developed. If done sufficiently long after the last possible exposure, the results are always conclusive. That meant they overrule all other considerations:  no matter how high the risk and no matter how typical the symptoms seem to be, the test results rule. Your wife's symptoms sound typical for a garden variety influenza, a severe cold, etc. Even though the same symptoms occur with new HIV infections, except that with HIV they would last at least 1-2 weeks. And your test result prove you don't have HIV so that's not a possibility.

You cannot go through life attributing every ache, tingle and twinge -- in you or your wife -- to a single sexual indiscretion that you regret. I hope it is true you are in counseling about this. That's what you need. This forum cannot help you any further. Future questions about this exposure, your symptoms, your fear of HIV, etc will be deleted without any reply at all.