Hi,

29 days ago in Vegas I had a body massage and handjob which lasted around 20 secs (using massage oil as lube). I heard about people having herpes whitlow and HPV warts on their hands. I didn’t see her hands. I can’t bear the thought of giving my wife or a future child an STI of any sort.

Can I have unprotected sex with my wife without worrying about infecting her with anything?

Below is everything I’ve seen since the handjob 29 days ago:

2 days after handjob a pinprick sized very white spot appeared at the base of my penis. This disappeared without any physical trace within 2 days.

6 days after handjob a small whiteish spot appeared on my penis. This disappeared within a day without any physical trace.

9 days after handjob I shaved. 2 days later I saw a small hard skin coloured bump at the crease between the leg and the pubic area which looked like it had been nicked by my razor at its base. I scratched some skin off thinking it would surface an ingrown hair as it looked similar to previous ingrown hairs. A few days later I removed a small hair from inside. The bump went down a tiny bit then raised back up within a few days. There was another hair inside, which I removed. Next day I went to a general walk-in centre to get it looked at incase it was a wart. Nurse looked at it for 5 seconds and said it’s just from shaving. The bump has now disappeared.

Day 26 after handjob I released a lot of poo with lots of dry wiping. I have a bump that feels and looks like a haemorrhoid.

 The "white spot" you describe in no way suggest an STI of any sort.  They occurred to early to be STI & AIDS and had they been STI & AIDS they would not have resolved in just two days.   The same comment holds for the white spot that you noted six days following your encounter.

 The bump that you noted on day nine sounds very typical of folliculitis. It does not sound at all like an HPV or HSV lesion. Further this location would be a most unusual place for any STI to occur irrespective of how it was transmitted. 

 Your recent loose stools also suggest something other than an STI. 

 In summary none of the lesions or bumps that you have noted suggest an STI following your virtually no risk receipt of masturbation. What they do you suggest is that you are expending lots of time and energy looking for any sign of STI that might have occurred. When people do this what they tend to notice are normal  irregularities and variation in the appearance of their skin. I urge you to stop worrying and to move forward without concern. 

 Nothing you have described suggests any reason for concern about STI, any reason for testing, or any reason to abstain from unprotected sex with your regular sex partner. Take care.  EWH

Thank you for your prompt and thorough reply. I assumed this was the case, but my paranoia about "What if she had hand STI's?" got the better of me and I felt like I had to get a professional nod of approval before resuming unprotected sex with my loving wife. I'm sure you wouldn't make this recommendation lightly. This, combined with your vast experience, gives me hope.

I didn't get to say this in my previous message as I was trying to adhear to the wordcount policy... What you and the other Doctors do on this platform is incredible and I'd like to thank all of you for it. Your readiness to help, even with repetitive questions like mine, is admirable. The past few weeks have been full of paranoia, regret and loneliness. Your opinion will, I hope, give me the confidence to move on without fear of this incident.

The following question is somewhat related, as it's to do with STI risk, but if you feel I need to pay again let me know.

My wife and I were complete virgins before meeting eachother, to the point where we were eachothers first kiss. Aside from my silly act, we've been completely monogomous. We plan to have children in the next couple of years, would you recommend any STI tests before getting my wife off the contraceptive pill/trying to get her pregnant?

Many thanks.

Incase I end up feeling like getting tested will be the only way to supress my fears, how long should I wait before getting tested to get the most reliable results? (So that I can feel like I've done everything in my power to be sure).

And what tests are best for those skin to skin STI's which I keep worrying about? (I'm from the UK so I'm not sure of we have the same options as the US)

Apologies in advance as I know this must be irritating. I know I should trust the science and that this is now a mental issue more than anything.

I know you'll likely close this thread after your response, so I'll end with a massive thank you for your time, patience, and understanding. I wish you all the best.

As per Forum guidelines, this will be my final response.

As I said above if you choose to test for your peace of mind, at 4 weeks after the event an HIV test result will be 99% conclusive and at six weeks it will be entirely conclusive.  

As for other skin-to-skin STIs, observation is the best course of action.  We specifically recommend AGAINST blood tests for herpes.  If you were going to acquire herpes, you would develop lesions within 10 days of your exposure, for HPV, warts could take up to 3-6 months to appear.  Syphilis is not a realistic possibility.  

As you point out, this thread will now be closed.  Before I do, knowing that you are a bit nervous I must warn you against further "what if" questions.  Such questions will be of little help to you and may not be answered.  I urge you t think rationally about this and move forward without concern.  EWH