[Question #4626] HIV exposures

28 months ago

Hi Doctors, thank you for a great service, I find the service very helpful and appreciate our feedback

I posted my first question to Dr HHH a few days ago and wanted to run another a couple of exposures if I may

I do suffer from major sexual health anxiety and have done for years and see someone for it

1.  9 years ago I had sex with a csw in Spain and as she cane off the condom was not on me, I panicked and then she later found it inside her... as this was a long time ago I feel okay about this

2. 2.5 years ago I engaged in mutual mastabation with a sex worker in Spain and a month after I was on anothe ehokiday drinking all day in the sun and later that night I woke up with bad nausea, fever and major chills and so weak and was bed bound for 12 or so hours- I did think this could be sun stroke and then a month after this my wife woke up with a red dotted rash on her torso and then two days later two v big mouth ulcers- I started googling and thought the worst

3- 2 years I think I must of got spiked and ended up in a brothel I don’t remember anything apart from waking up and she was giving me oral but I recall a condom I think... I then remember giving her oral and I was about to have sex and I said no- I don’t remember anything else

I woke up with a red dot on my arm and thought did she give me downing

I went back the next day to get some answers- she mentioned we didn’t have sex - six days later my wife and I had bad colds

My last one I wrote to Dr HHH was a week ago I had a lap dance, she grinned on me and I ejaculated and then she touched herself then put her hand on my bare penis- since then I have had urge to see a lot, an irritation on the top and a little itch- but thinking how could i of caught something- I’m thinking clymedia etc- I have no burn on ruination - 

I have stopped my drinking for last two wars and very faithful to my wife, thought la dancing was innocent as was on a stag do-

I always fear the worse in things and wondering if you could help me

Thank you for everything hopefully I can put all this to bed

Thank you

Sam 

Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
28 months ago
Welcome back to our Forum.  On this occasion I rather than Dr. Handsfield will be providing the answer.  We take turns answering questions.  FYI, in working together for more than 30 years, Dr. Handsfield and I have not differed in the substance of our advice to clients although our verbal styles do vary.  

In the encounters you describe you do not mention testing.  Before I provide brief assessments of risk let me point out several important points.  First, any single exposure is unlikely to lead to acquisition of ANY STI.  Most people do not have STIs and for those who do, most exposures to  infected partners do not result in infection, rather multiple exposures are needed.  Secondly, if you have been tested for the encounters you describe above, you were not infected.  In general, tests are reliable and should be believed.  Now for your questions.

1.  I would feel OK about this too.  it was long ago.  See my comments above.
2.  Mutual masturbation is a no risk event for all STIs.  I suspect you had a sun reaction as well and suspect your wife's rash was unrelated.
3.  Your encounter 2 years ago was very, very low risk.  Just as your partner suggested, I would not worry about it either.

I hope these replies are helpful. As I mentioned above, if you may not been tested, given your anxiety, I would suggest that you test - ONCE- and then continue to work with your therapist to move forward.  EWH
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28 months ago
Hi Dr Hook

It is so great to hear from you and Dr Hansfield, I have looked at your forums for some time. I know you wont be happy with this but a big part of my anxiety has come from not having the guts to test- I know this is weak and very selfish I am sorry. To my reclloection I have never engaged in unprotected sex apart from two women and one was over 12 years ago- its just the exposures I mentioned above that I always think something must of happened and me not realise it.

Do they not sound like common symptons of ars- they came and went quite quickly

Also what I mentioned to Dr Hansfield, after my lap dance, and the girl put her hadn on my bare penis, I feel oh no did something else happen why do i feel the irriation- my mind is always thinking something slipped through the net

I love my wife and I do feel a massive element of guilt, but apart from what I have mentioned I have not swayed since and never intend too and alot of my therapy comes from the fact I fear losing everything..she is my life and we are planning a baby.

In regards to tetsing I know the day is going to come when I have to face it- its just something I cant deal with

Even an innocent lap dance, althought she did make me ejaculate in my clothes, i feel what if I accidentally had penetration- its so strange as I dont suffer from anxiety any other part of my life just always revolving around sexual health

Thank you for taking time to listen to me, you guys are very good people

Sam
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
28 months ago
There is no question in your response but I do appreciate your candor regarding your fear of HIV testing.  Let me respond to that.  Testing will not change whether or not you have HIV.  On the other hand, in your case, I am CONFIDENT that it will PROVE that you DO NOT HAVE HIV and in that way, while not addressing your guilt, should relieve any anxiety that you might have regarding your fear that you have HIV.

Beyond that I have nothing more to say.  I urge you to get a hold of yourself and to go get an HIV test.  It will prove that will you were not infected and allow you to take a step closer to moving forward.  EWH
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28 months ago
Hi Dr Hook

Thank you so much for all your understanding and your advice- I cant tell you how grateful I am

I just wanted to run past you what I mentioned to Dr Hasfield but I ran out if questions- just thi slast question then I will try and move on

I mentioned to Dr Hansfield, i went to a strip joint last week for my birthday and my friends bought me a lap dance- during which she grinded and I did ejaculate in my boxers and jeans- then she put breasts in face and then out her hand on my bare penis but I retracted and walked out

Since then I have had an irirtaiton and a frequency to urinate-there has been no discharge or pain on urinating- but not sure why I feel like this- is it my anxiety- and also if someone does have discharge, does it happen every time they urinate

I was covered but worried my penis might of come out during it and not know..

I just want to have a good xmas and relax- just cant think why I have this irriation why it feels hot on my penis tip-

Thanks and sorry to ask the same question

I hope you reply and also want to wish you and everything there a very merry christmas

God bless you all

Thanks

Sam
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
28 months ago
The events and descriptions that you describe were no risk events in terms of STI risk.  STIs are not transmitted through the sort of touching that you describe.  In addition, I should inform you that urinary frequency is not a symptom of STI-related urethritis but it is a symptom of anxiety.  It is also our experience that when persons are anxious and looking for symptoms, they tend to notice sensations that they might not notice otherwise.  Please don't worry.

As you point out, this will be my final response to your questions.  The thread will be closed shortly.  EWH
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