[Question #4648] Very Light Frottage

28 months ago
Hi and thanks in advance for the help. I'm worried about my possible exposure I subjected myself to on Friday from very light frottage. I'm a married man and stupidly made a poor decision in a strip club. 
On Friday night I went to a strip club for a bachelor party and got the VIP room. The stripper came in and took off all my and her clothes. She began to dance and later straddled me and sat on the shaft of my penis with her vagina. I thought she was trying to have sex with me so I lifted her off rather quickly. Maybe she was on my penis for about 5 seconds. There was no real friction she basically just sat on it. She seemed to be dry. I wasnt much worried about it until I started to read up on the possibilities and started to have some "symptoms"
Last night I woke up with the chills for a very short amount of time and went back to sleep, I didnt think much of it. 
This am I woke up with a sore throat and thought it could be a cold
Now unfortunately I have bad diarrhea. 
It could all be coincidence but I'm really starting to worry and read that sometimes herpes and syphilis can be transmitted through acts like this and that at times herpes can have flu like symptoms, which now literally has me shitting my pants (sorry for cursing)
Am I at risk from this very short genital touching?
How long would it take herpes to show?
How long would it take syphilis to show?
Can I have sex with me wife?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
28 months ago
Welcome to the Forum.  I'll try to help.  My summary advice to you is that the event that you described was a no risk event with perhaps theoretical risk for herpes or syphilis but, realistically, no risk at all.  Thus I see no reason for concern, no reason for testing and no reason to abstain from unprotected sex with your wife other than the possibility that you will give her your cold.

Now for a bit more detail.  First, the dancer.  Most exotic dancers and commercial sex workers do not have STIs.  They tend to take precautions and/or test regularly.  Second, the most common STIs, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, require penetration for transmission- no penetration no risk, thus no risk with frottage-gentle or otherwise.  The same is true for HIV, no penetration, no transmission (I list it separately because it is so very much rarer than the other STIs I just mentioned).  Finally, as "lesion diseases" syphilis and herpes could, in theory, be transmitted by brief contact without penetration. The fact however is that even if the dancer had one of these infections, the sort of contact you describe virtually never leads to transmission of infection - the friction of penetration is an important contributor to transmission.  I see no medical reason at all for concern or for testing.

BUT, you have symptoms.  My advice is to not worry about them.  Neither the cold symptoms you report, nor your diarrhea are suggestive of HSV or syphilis.  HSV lesions appear on average 4-5 days after contact and when persons have flu-like symptoms with HSV, they typically have lesions as well.  Syphilis on the other hand takes an average of 21 days for lesions to appear.

Bottom line, this was a no risk event.  Don't let any guilt that you are feeling about the episode you described cause you to attribute other symptoms to the encounter you now wish you had not had.  EWH
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28 months ago
Dr Hook, thank you so much for your speedy response. You take great strides to help those in need through a site that can virtually provide ANYONE with help, a task you should take great pride in. 
Now I'm sorry but, I'm a touch confused. You said I did have symptoms and not to worry about them, meaning, they are unrelated or that I would see lesions as well as flu like symptoms (sorry I have a learning disability that makes it hard for me to understand new things rapidly)
Also, 4-5 days for symptoms to appear, being that it happened on Friday am and now it is Monday would that make today day 4? (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday?) If so, don't my flu like symptoms seem to be on par with timing?
Also, if I do not see lesions by tomorrow (Day 5?) Does that mean I can bet on it being disease free? or would it take the full 12 days that the CDC suggests?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
28 months ago
Sorry for the confusion.  Your symptoms are not suggestive of any STI.  Any symptoms that you are having are due to something other than an STI.

Today (Monday) is day 3, not day 4.

The average time to development of herpes lesions is about 4-5 days but sometimes lesions develop after as much as 10-12 days.  With each day the likelihood of developing lesions is less and less but you can only be entirely confident that lesions will not develop after 10-12 days.  Having said that, let me again emphasize that the encounter you described was virtually no risk.  I provided the additional detail only for completeness sake.  EWH
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28 months ago
Hey Dr Hook,
I know this is your last reply and i appreciate your help thus far. I can understand, to you, that this can be annoying and i apologize if i have been such, however, as stated prior, i am quite nervous. If you do not mind i just have a few more questions if you could be so kind to take the time. I also can understand that someone of your expertise can comprehend "theoretically speaking" much better than someone with my lack of knowledge concerning such issue.  With that being said:
1-Can you put a percentage on theoretically speaking? Is my chance of acquiring herpes below 1% etc, (I'm sorry my version of theoretically speaking means I'm getting it)
2-Say if she did have an outbreak and did touch one of her sores to my bare penis, what percentage is it that I will get it after about 5 seconds of exposure to my penis from her vagina?
3-If i reach day 6 without a lesion,  how much do my chances go down that i got said virus?
3A- If i reach day 10-12 without a lesion, how much do my chances go down that i got said virus?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
28 months ago
Straight to your questions:
1-Can you put a percentage on theoretically speaking? Is my chance of acquiring herpes below 1% etc, (I'm sorry my version of theoretically speaking means I'm getting it)
You chance of having acquired herpes from the activities that you describe is a small fraction of 1%.


2-Say if she did have an outbreak and did touch one of her sores to my bare penis, what percentage is it that I will get it after about 5 seconds of exposure to my penis from her vagina?
There are no scientific studies to inform the answer to this question but again, I would estimate that the risk for infection if you had brief contact with a HSV lesion remains less than 1%

3-If i reach day 6 without a lesion,  how much do my chances go down that i got said virus?
Trying to provide you with precise estimates is silly.  Based on what I've said above and applying simple math, if your chance of getting HSV form the event you describe was 1% (it wasn't, it was lower), then after 6 days your risk would certainly be less than 1/2 of 1%.  Is it really worthwhile to be worrying as much as you are if the chances are far more than 99% that you did not get herpes.  

3A- If i reach day 10-12 without a lesion, how much do my chances go down that i got said virus?
Sigh, see above.  Even lower.

This will complete this thread. There will be no further replies to this sort of question and if you choose to post again, your question may be closed without a reply and without return of your posting fee.  Your concern is far, far out of proportion to your risk and not somethin that I think you should be the least bit worried about.  EWH

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