[Question #4668] NGU concern after infidelity

28 months ago
 A year ago I had an infidelity.   The encounter was heavy kissing and I performed oral sex on the girl.   My penis never came out of my pants.  She did not perform any act on me other than kissing.  Shortly after, when I resumed normal sex life with my wife (oral and vaginal) I started experiencing some symptoms.  Frequent urge to urinate and slight irritation of the tip of penis.  No pain during urination and no discharge.  My guilt through the roof, I consulted a doctor who told me I had nothing to worry about.  Its most likely in my head. I was relieved but I requested a urine test to rule out the common stds.  Gon, Chlam etc.  Came back negative.  As my symptoms persisted, I consulted another clinic, weeks later while I was abroad.  The doctor performed a visual test and collected urine to have it tested and cultured for signs of inflammation etc.  Again,  negative.  I even consulted my urologist who checked my urine.  Again, negative.   I tried to move on with my life but the symptoms continued.  Some days worse than others.  There was even a period of time when the symptoms felt like they had gone away.  I contacted the girl in question.  She got tested.  all negative.  My wife was tested.  All negative.  I would really love to believe the doctors, but my urination patterns are not those of a normal healthy urinary tract.  My intense urge to urinate has continued.  If I drink a normal amount of fluids, I find myself needing to go about every hour or 2 hour.  3 if I'm lucky.  If I drink more than average, I can sometimes get the urge 30min to an hour after just going.   Doctors seem to all agree that if there if no discharge or dysuria, there is nothing.  However, my online research has suggested that some STIs have little or no symptoms.   Here is my question.  Do I maybe have a bacterial infection causing NGU and it is not detectable by usual std testing? If so, am i putting my wife's health at risk?   

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
28 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your confidence in our services.

You cannot acquire any STD involving your urethra -- NGU, gonorrhea, chlamydia, or anything else -- unless your urethra is directly exposed. STDs do not travel through the body to unexposed sites. In addition, your symptoms are not typical of NGU; they are perfectly typical for genitally focused anxiety. And in any case, catching anything by kissing or by cunnlingus (oral-vaginal contact) is extremely unlikely. 

You've really gone overboard in all this testing and examinations. I'm sorry your doctors didn't advise you accordingly:  assuming they had an accurate exposure history from you, they really shouldn't have done all these exams, tests, etc, no matter what symptoms you had. Had something shown up, it would not be from the exposure you have described. And I agree with your doctors that "if there if no discharge or dysuria, there is nothing". 

So all is well. You have no STD or any other infection from the exposure a year ago. Your wife's health is not at risk in any way.

I hope this information is helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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27 months ago
I understand that my chances of infection are very unlikely.  I would have to be exposed orally and then pass it on to my wife who then subsequently passes back on to my urethra.  However my symptoms seem to persist so I do appreciate your help in reassuring me.  Lately, the last few weeks, my symptoms feel more like I have slight discharge but not enough to cause “underwear staining” or “dripping » so to speak.  I find myself checking my urethra to see nothing significant.  But it has happened a couple times now where I do see a tiny bit of discharge when squeeze it out.    Is it possible that I am getting some discharge but very little which is causing my constant urge to urinate ?    My wife has been having lower back tightness and pain for the last weeks,  which I understand can be totally unrelated, but I worry that maybe an infection has turned to PID or something.    I know all this sounds far fetched but I just wish there was a concrete test to rule this out completely rather than interpreting symptoms.  
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
27 months ago
Thanks for the follow-up information. Unfortunately, I can't help much more. The symptoms you describe for both you and your wife are not possibly due to any infection from the sexual event you are concerned about. Your symptoms are most typical for genitally focused anxiety -- in that sense, they probably are related to the event, but not from an infection. And you are correct that your wife's symptoms are very nonspecific (i.e. potentially due to many different conditions). Back pain can accompany PID, but only along with severe abdominal pain, fever, etc -- back pain alone is never a PID symptom. 

Indeed, your STD concerns are "far fetched"; and no, there isn't any test that I would recommend. Of course you're free to be tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia if you wish (they would have to include throat swabs to check for oral infection, in addition to urine tests). If you do it, they will be negative. (Or if positive, the source would have to be someplace and some person other than the exposure described above.)

You came here for expert reassurance. I'm doing my best to do that. Please accept it and do your best to move on. 
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27 months ago
Understood.  Thank you for your guidance. Please allow me to finish with a final question.  Is non chlamydial NGU a thing?  Is it of any concern?  How would it manifest itself in men? 

Thanks for your time and patience with me.  




H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
27 months ago
Nonchlamydial NGU is real. But since your penis was not exposed to your partner, it's not something you could have caught. The main symptom is discharge of mucus or pus from the penis, sometimes with painful urination.

That concludes the two follow-up comments and replies included with each question, and so closes this thread. I hope the discussion is useful and that you will go forward with no worries at all. Best wishes and stay safe.
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