[Question #4673] Terrified of HIV/STD - Need risk assessment please

26 months ago
38 y/o WM. On Dec 6th I had an unwanted encounter with a stripper during a lapdance while extremely drunk. She was looked mid 20s WF. This occurred in metro Detroit, not in Detroit. She told me to touch her and I said no. The next thing I know, she is rubbing her vagina on my face. My lips/tongue came into contact with her clitoral area for probably 1-2 seconds. As far as I can remember, my tongue did not enter her vagina. The next thing I know, she put a condom on me and gave me oral sex for probably 2 seconds. I did not have a full erection. Before I know it, she is on top of me and I was inside of her. After 5-10 seconds I told her to stop and she got up and left. Did not look like an IV drug user but I don't know. I pulled up my pants and left with the condom still in place. I went to the bathroom and removed the condom. I did not inspect it, but it was still on and covering my head. I am married and love my wife dearly. I have been avoiding sex with her since then and my anxiety/shame is sky high. I want to tell her I feel I was taken advantage of but I think it will devastate her and she already has depression. I have my annual physical on the 21st. What are my risks of contracting anything and what tests should I have my doctor order? If I were to have got anything, would it show by 2 weeks? I feel fine other than extreme anxiety and guilt over something I did not seek and did not want. I'm very angry this happened to me and that I let alcohol put me in this situation.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
26 months ago
Welcome to the Forum.  I'll be glad to comment.  The unwanted events you describe put you at no appreciable risk for any STI, including HIV.  Please remember that most exotic dancers/commercial sex workers do not have STIs or HIV.  Second, your exposures included oral contact with her vagina and condom protected receipt of oral and vaginal sex.  The risk of any STI from the oral contact you describe is miniscule and the only STI even theoretically possible would be acquisition of oral gonorrhea.  As far as the receipt of condom-protected oral and vaginal sex, condoms are highly effective and your condom covered the tip of your penis which is what is required for condoms to work (condoms that have slipped down on the shaft of the penis still do their job)..  No testing related to your receipt of oral or vaginal testing is needed.  There is no risk for HIV at all from this exposure and any risk for STIs other than gonorrhea is about as likely as your being struck by lightening while reading this reply.  If you wish you could ask for an oral swab test of your throat for gonorrhea but personally I would not even both with that. I see no real reason to worry and no reason to abstain from unprotected sex with your wife.

I hope this comment is helpful.  I also hope that you will stay off the internet which would be virtually certain to unnecessarily worry you with incorrect information.  EWH
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26 months ago
Thank you Dr. Hook, your words are encouraging. Is there no risk of catching something from my underwear? The condom had vaginal secretions and was in my underwear for a couple of minutes. After I removed it, my penis was in contact with the underwear for the rest of the night. I’m hoping it’s just my anxiety getting the best of me. Thank you again. 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
26 months ago
No STIs can be acquired even if infected genital secretions happened to be on your underwear.  Still no risk.  Please don't worry.  EWH---
26 months ago
Last question. Should I be concerned with HPV? My wife previously had the kind that can cause cervical cancer and had the procedure to remove the cells. Does that make her more susceptible to another infection? This was about 8 years ago when we first started dating. To my knowledge she was not vaccinated and I seem to recall her doc told her she was too old to get it. She would’ve been around 28. I’ve read a number of posts on here that say new HPV is not very common in women over 30. Does that still apply in my wife’s case since she had previous infection? If she were to have an abnormal pap could it be the old infection and not necessarily a new one? I just don’t want to risk her health. Thank you again for this service. 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
26 months ago
You wife's prior HPV infection does not make her more susceptible to repeat infections and the exposure you describe was not a high risk exposure for HPV.  Should she have manifestations of HPV in the future is would be far more likely to be due to a prior infection than something she acquired from you as a result of the encounter you described.  Please don't worry.

Also, as an FYI, recently the recommended ages for the HPV vaccine was increased to age 45 for both women and men.  

As you know, this will complete this thread which will be closed later today. EWH
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