[Question #4692] Hiv/oral

26 months ago
Hi

Hope you can help? 

I was seeing a girl for a month I know we had sex on a few occasions and used a condom and on all occasions I’ve received oral off her and gave oral to her! I never ejaculated but on the last occasion about a week ago I think I had a case of herpes on my penis I’m not sure if it started just before or the day after I received oral! I’m now worried if you could catch hiv from it? I don’t know her past sexual history, and I’m panicking I can catch it through oral? 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
26 months ago
Welcome back. Glad to see the long interval since your last question!

Oral sex rarely if ever transmits HIV, which I think you were also told in one or more of your several past threads. There has never been a proved case of HIV transmission by cunnilingus, or by fellatio from mouth to penis. And probably it is very unlikely your partner had HIV anyway. Perhaps the best way to resolve your concerns is to speak with her and arrange for the two of you to be tested together. You might find she is just as worried about HIV from you as you are from her, and you both would be reassured by your negative results (and know for sure neither of you could have infected the other). However, even without this, I don't recommend HIV testing in this circumstance. There's no chance you were infected. But of course you are free to be tested (6 weeks after your last contact with her) if the negative result would be more reassuring than my advice.

As for having a possible herpes outbreak, that can increase the risk of HIV. But since there are no known cases of HIV transmission mouth to penis, the risk still is zero for all practical purposes.

The main STD/health concern here appears to be your herpes. Since you think you had an outbreak at the time of exposure, you need to tell your partner about it so she can be on the lookout for oral symptoms etc. Of course you should have told her about this before the exposure, so she might be pretty ticked. But you are ethically obligated to tell her. However, this has no bearing on your HIV risk or need for testing.

I hope these comments re helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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26 months ago
Thanks for the reply, we did discuss getting tested but she said she did months ago and hasn’t been with anyone else! Hopefully she hasn’t but you never know. My concern was just in case my herpes burst leaving open sores and she had blood in her mouth from brushing her teeth then I just worry  that then could be a way then?
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
26 months ago
I sort of disagree with "but you never know". People rarely lie about HIV status or sexual history when asked directly. If she seemed open and non-evasive in her reply, I see no reason not to trust her.

As I said, there has never been a single proved case of HIV transmission mouth to penis. And if you think about it, in the 30+ years of the known worldwide HIV/AIDS epidemic, there must have been billions of such exposure; and because herpes is common and occationally people bleed from their gums etc, there must also have been millions of exposure exactly like you are worried about -- and still no known HIV infections. In other words, that additional information does not change my assessment of your risk of my advice.

But do follow through with a discussion with your partner about exposing her to your herpes. You're going to do that, right?
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26 months ago
Yes, I’m going to discuss it with her. Thanks for replying back.
26 months ago
Would you say it’s the same with giving oral to her? In terms of risk wise? 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
26 months ago
Already answered in my reply above: "There has never been a proved case of HIV transmission by cunnilingus" (oral-vaginal sex). In general, exposure of the mouth to HIV rarely if every transmits the virus.

That completes the two follow-up comments/questions and replies included with each original question, and so concludes this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. But please note the same policy, which we might have said in one of your past threads:  Please note the forum does not permit repeated questions on the same topic or exposure. This will have to be your last one; future new questions about low risk exposures and your concerns about HIV of the sort in this and your previous threads generally receive no reply and the posting fee is not refunded. This policy is based on compassion, not criticism, and is intended to reduce temptations to keep paying for questions with obvious answers. In addition, experience shows that continued answers tend to prolong users' anxieties rather than reducing them. Finally, such questions have little educational value for other users, one of the forum's main purposes. Thanks for your understanding. 

That said, I do hope the discussions to date have been helpful and will allow you to move on without having to ask for verbal hand-holding in event of similar future sexual experiences.
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