[Question #4835] Ex-partner's negative results

27 months ago

Hi Doctor, I am from Indonesia. I have the first and the only unprotected sex in my life with a girl from a social media app. She is not CSW. We had 1 unprotected vaginal on march 2018, and 1 protected vaginal at late march (condom did not broke). On june 2018 she gave me unprotected oral sex only. The night I went home after PROTECTED SEX on March (3 weeks from unprotected sex), I bought a "Grilled Corn" and it was quite burnt. After few hours, I felt uncomfortable with my throat and tomorrow I got cough with sputum, and my body felt like little warm. Tomorrow I got fever below 38 and then it starting to be 38. And following by runny nose and then I felt little sore throat (very light, I still remember), it felt like there was something in my throat, headaches too and I felt little joint pain not severe like what I experienced in the past. Tomorrow the sore throat, headaches and joint pain gone, but fever still there (not really severe, I still can go outside). Then fever gone but coughing still there and I found a small lymp node at behind my right ear (between sternocleidomastoid and my ear) and fever came back slightly with little waist pain. FYI (I got a long-term coughing after kissed my virgin and negative hiv girldriend. She got pneumonia and healed up but I get nothing.)

Went to GP, he said no worry, this node caused by rhematoid arthritis and really small. Then went to pulmonologist, did a rontgen and found nothing but she confirmed the small node and my throat looked little red. The node felt little pain if I push it. Fever gone in 2-3 days and the node gone in 5 days.

I brought her to lab, Here her results:
April 2018: CMIA non reactive 0.10
June 2018: CMIA non reactive 0.12
Nov 2018: CMIA interpretation non reactive.

1. Do I need to test?
2. What do you think about testing my country? Can I rely on it?
3. The last one performed at different lab with no value number but same type (cmia), is it reliable?
4. Do you think that my symptoms are ARS?
5. The last test she went to test herself and I see the result paper but can she manipulate her test? Do I need to worry if labs messed up the results?

Many Thanks and stay well doctors!

27 months ago
Sorry, I meant I never had sex before and this is my the only sex and the first was unprotected. She told me she has daugther and that she had 2 partners before me (protected with a guy, and unprotected with a married man). If you need additional information, tell me doctor.. 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
27 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.

These sound like very low risk exposures. You say nothing about (and may not know) your partner's sexual history in enough detail to know for sure. But it sounds like she's basically a responsible person and unikely to have any active STD. In addition, your symptoms are not at all suggestive of any STD. There are no STDs, including HIV, that cause cough with sputum or any other of the symptoms you mention. You caught a cold, that's all. And your girlfriend's pneumonia also had nothing to do with any of this (and HIV is not transmited by kissing anyway). Finally, the HIV test results you report are 100% conclusive:  they prove you did not catch HIV.

Thse comments pretty well cover your specific questions, but to be sure there is no misunderstanding:

1) No more HIV testing is necessary. However, for reassurance about other STDs, you should consider a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia and a syphilis blood test. Almost certainly they will be negative, but better safe than sorry!

2) HIV and other STD lab tests are pretty much the same world wide. I'm sure almost all labs in Indonesia (especially in urban areas) use the same tests and have the same quality control as in North America, Western Europe, Australia/NZ, etc.

3) The numerical result doesn't matter. The lab would not report the result as negative unless the value were clearly negative.

4) No, your symptoms are not at all suggestive of ARS. Even if they were, ARS never lasts more than 3-4 weeks.

5) Trust your partner. You have no right to examine written or online results of her test. And anyway, it doesn't matter, since your own tests prove you did not catch HIV.

I hope this information helps and you are able to move on without worry. All is well in regard to HIV, and probably other STDs as well. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
27 months ago
My apology. I didn't read part of your question as closely as I should have:  I thought those were your HIV test results, not your partner's. Her results prove she does not have HIV. Assuming you were her only partner during the time you were together, there was no need for any more than one test. Why all the extra ones? Did you think she had oher partners? I do hope you were kind and respectful in asking her to be tested. Really there was no need:  you could have just been tested yourself. (Indeed, the reason I mis-read your question is that it didn't enter my mind that they were her test results! Most people worried about HIV just get tested themselves. I hope you were kind and thoughtful in requestiong your ex partner be tested. She was under no obligation to do it. And if it cost anything, I hope you paid!

But the bottom line is that for sure there was no HIV risk here. But if your partner was not tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis, I still suggest you do so yourself. (Do not ask her to do it! This is no longer her responsibility. If your own results are positive (which it very unlikely), then you can advise her to be tested as well.
27 months ago
Hi Dr. Handsfield, so happy to see you!

My apology, I think it's my fault because my story sounds confusing. Let me fix it.
You are right, I never had sex with anyone except this ex-partner.  
So I can tell you that this is my the only vaginal sex in my life (1 unprotected, 1 protected).  And the reason to take her test instead of me going to test is because of confidential and yes I asked her for testing in kind words and way and she said yes.

I keep my relationship as friends with her in purpose to wait for 3 months or more to take her test again, because of my anxiety pushed me to do that.
So she took 3 tests on april, june, november (1 month, 3 months, 8 months) post the unprotected encounter.
I know she told me that her last unprotected sex with a married man was on october 2017, meaning it was very long time and should be conclusive at her first test, but who knows the truth.
I have asked her too about herpes blister/sore, or discharge, or pain urinating, she said never experience it, but again, who knows.

Back to my symptoms, my symptoms did not last for 3-4 weeks. I meant it came partially like sore throat, coughing with sputum, tomorrow following by fever, and everything gone except coughing with sputum still going on, and until "Mid April" (2-3 weeks after the first symptoms) the fever came again along with small lymph node.
And also I forgot to mention that I got a redness on my penis' head during I experienced the recurrent fever on mid april. On that day before I realize the redness, I got masturbated my penis on face down/prone position against my bed/pillow roughly, so yes there was a little bit pain. After that, in that day I went to bathroom and I found out that there were two redness on my penis head on different location, not too wide, small. And there was one redness (like a small dot) on the tip of Urethra, just a 1 small dot. I got confused and suddenly so worrying about them. No Blisters, No Discharge, No Sores, No Itchy, No Pain While Urinating, No pain if don't touch it, just like everything is normal except if I touch it, then it feels little pain, feels like pain of irritation.

And in about 2-3 days, the redness on penis' head gone, but the red dot on the tip of urethra still there for 3-5 days then gone.
I never experience any Cold Sores, Any Sores like syphilis, or any pain while urinating or any discharge until now (10-11 months since the 1 time unprotected sex on early march).
Doctor, I hope my clarification can help.
So you are confident that I don't need to go for hiv test anymore for myself except for other STDs like you mentioned already?

Well actually what in my mind now is anxiety anxiety and anxiety, fear of unreliable test because of the tests done for 1-2 hours, or maybe they want to mess up with the test. I went to two big private labs with many branchs located in many cities in my country and they usually accept hospitals requests for STD testings, but still when I put it behind me, it comes back again and again in my mind, sorry Doctor for my anxiety.

I just want to go back to my virgin girlfriend that got pneumonia in 2016 and put it behind me. Do you have something to add Doctor?

Thank You !
27 months ago
Sorry the Doctor, additional: the main idea is she had two partners after her ex-husband. One protected which I don't care if she truly honest and the last one on october 2017 was 2x times Unprotected sex with married man. This is what makes me concern. I never had sex before, so I think based on her tests, I can rely on it without getting myself testing, especially for hiv. Hope this additional information helps Doctor, Thanks !
27 months ago
Oh yeah I paid all of the costs Doctor, she wanted to know too about her hiv status, so I think good for both of us.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
27 months ago
Thanks for all that, but there's really nothing new in all you say and this information does not change my opinions or advice. You cannot possibly have HIV. Stop worrying about it and stop harrassing your previous partner about it. She needs no more testing and neither do you.

That completes the two follow-up comments/questions and replies included with each question and so ends this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Accept this reasoed, science based assessment and advice and move on without worry.