Thank you so much for your expert opinion for my following question. I am a 31 y/o virgin female born and raised in the US who has never had vaginal or anal sex but in 2009 & 2010 I engaged in unprotected fellatio with a male 4 separate occasions (twice in 2009 and twice in 2010). He wasn’t ever in prison, not bisexual nor was he an IDU. In these 4 occasions, there was no ejaculation to my recollection but maybe pre-ejaculate and each time lasted 1 minute to 2 minutes maximum. I brushed my teeth before the first 2 exposures and had a root canal and dental fillings around those months (not sure whether any of the dental procedures coincided with the exposures). I’m otherwise in good dental health.

1. Was I exposed to HIV in these exposures? IWithin the past few years (and I have not had any sexual relations since these exposures) I have noticed I develop a cluster of sores 2-4x a year on my gum line near the teeth and sometimes upper palate. Could that be hsv2 and could that have in turn double my HIV exposures? Or could it just be my hsv1 (usually get it on my top lip but I haven’t had it on my lip in years) that I’ve had since childhood?

2. Have not been ill with any opportunistic infections just your standard allergies. Some months before my cycle begins, my vulva will itch so maybe that’s recurrent yeast infections?

3. I want to ensure I am not exposing anyone in the future. Each year when I visit my PCP and they ask if I’ve had sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal) and I say no, they don’t opt to testing me for STDs.

Welcome to our Forum and thanks for your confidence in our advice.  I'll be glad to comment.  Compared to vaginal or anal sex, oral sex (either performance of fellatio or receipt of cunnilingus) are relatively low risk events, particularly for HIV but for other STIs as well.  In terms of HIV, fellatio is estimated to have a risk of 1 infection for every 10,000-12,000 acts (i.e. if your partner was infected, like performing oral sex on an infected male daily for more than 27 years).  Further your partner sounds to be relatively unlikely with no particular risk characteristics.  Thus your statistical risk of HIV is likely something les than 1 in a million and not something to worry about.

As for your specific questions:

Dr. Hook,

Thank you so much for your reply! This male and I both live in Dearborn, MI. It’s the highest populated Muslim community in the United States (as we are both Muslim). So there definitely is more anxiety with my worry than scientific facts. I tend to conflate feelings of anxiety/shame/guilt with symptoms as an idea of punishment for my actions. This anxiety has stopped me from being in relationships because I would have panic attacks because I would convince myself I’d be infecting others thus stopping myself from getting into any relationships for the past 9-10 years. Thankfully, your post alleviated my anxiety. Honestly after I wrote the post I thought it sounded silly and repetitive to what you’ve answered before and I’m so sorry!

I wrote this post because I’ve finally met an amazing man and he will be the first person I have sexual intercourse with! I was very nervous I wanted to ensure I wasn’t exposing him to anything (I’ve open and honest with him about my worry but he told me it’s just my anxiety). He’s been tested recently and he’s fine. So now I think I can take the plunge and talk to my OB/GYN about getting on birth control and begin having normal intercourse.

Just for future reference, oral sex is safe sex with regard to HIV and almost zero risk for some STDs and low risk for others (gonnerhea being the highest risk), correct?

EWH

Hope this helps.  As this is my 3rd response, as per Forum guidelines, this thread will be closed later today.  EWH