Once you have a type of herpes at one location, it is extremely unlikely you would get it in a new location.  No impossible, but highly unlikely.  And no, outbreaks in one person do not trigger outbreaks in another.  If I were in your situation, I wouldn't hesitate to participate freely in whatever kind of sexual expression would please you and your partner.  In 33 years of practice, I saw this happen once in our practice and I read a post from someone in a forum that also reported the same thing - but twice in 33 years?  Would you trade free sexual expression for two instances in 33 years?  Yes, there could be ones I don't know about but it seems very very rare to me.

Terri