First a little background, since my last STI panel test and HIV test (all of which were negative) most of my sexual experience has been handjobs mostly with massages. They have been pretty basic with just oil no other lubricants. I have had dozens usually from the same few people that I have grown to know. In 2 1/2 years I have had protected vaginal sex 7 times with no condom breaks or leaks that I could see. I have had unprotected oral three times in that same time period with many months between each time. I know it was unwise with the oral and I need to be more careful. I had read these post before ( which is no excuse) and I felt ok with the oral exposures in the past and I haven't had any symptoms of any kind and my last oral exposure was a couple of weeks ago. Just oral no sex. Fear and anxiety have started to creep in my mind and I started to question my past experiences. I thought I was being relatively safe, but now I'm not so sure.

So ultimately I would like to know the risk assessments of the oral exposures, the protected sex, and the handjobs. Any relief would be appreciated.

You've had a pretty safe sexual lifestyle. As you are aware, hand-genital contact is risk free -- any theoretical risk is low enough to ignore. And oral sex also should be considered safe sex, even unprotected. Using condoms for oral sex is super safe, but even without condoms all STDs are less likely from oral exposure than from unprotected vaginal or anal sex, and the risk is zero or close to it for some of them. The main risks from unprotected oral are gonorrhea, herpes due to HSV1, and nongonococcal urethritis (NGU). Syphilis is possible but rare in this situtaion. And all these usually cause obvious symptoms, so absence of urethral discharge, painful urination, and penile sores are fair evidence you haven't caught any of them.

Having said all that, the chance you have been infected isn't zero, and we always advise that anyone who is sexually active outside a committed, mutually monogamous relstionship should be tested from time to time for common STDs. Since you apparently haven't had such testing recently, I recommend you have a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia, and blood tests for syphilis and HIV. I don't recommend any other testing. Stay mellow in the time before you are tested and when awaiting the results.

Notice I'm not recommeding tests for conditions that were truly zero risk. Don't waste money on a "comprehensive" STD test panel that might include things like hepatitis B and C, HSV, or even rare things like HTLV. You'll probably save money -- and reduce the chance of hard to interpret equivocal results -- by having only the 4 tests advised above.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Thank you for your reply and assessments. I can't say my fear and anxiety is alleviated, but I understand you can't give definitive answers when you haven't evaluated me in and can only go by what I have told you. I do appreciate the facts you have been able to give. I hope and pray my tests are all good. Thank you for your time and patience.