Three months ago I had condom-protected vaginal intercourse with a CSW.  In the year prior I had equivalent contact with different CSW’s approximately 5 times.  My health since has been absolutely normal with no colds or flu.  

      This past weekend my significant other has come down with and currently has a severe flu-like illness.  Her symptoms are: strong muscle discomfort, headache, a non productive cough, severe fatigue, and a fever that has gone as high as 103 as of last evening.  We went to the clinic and had a flu test which was negative.  The doctor diagnosed a non-specific virus and that was that.  She rarely if ever has any chest issues, as most of her infections and colds are always sinus and throat related.  Our last unprotected sexual encounter was 2 weeks ago approximately. 

     My concern is that somehow I may have infected her with HIV that I didn’t know I had and that this unusual (for her) virus is in fact ARS.

    Having read through your forum’s q/a’s I am aware of the likelihood of infection surrounding protected vaginal sex, but of course one’s rational thoughts in crisis-free moments erode once a crisis emerges.  It goes without saying of course the levels of shame and self-loathing that come when one confronts how their acts of foolish indescretion could possibly harm their truly loved ones.   Any reflections or thoughts you may have about the likelihood that she has ARS would be very welcome. 

     Thank you for your truly humane work.  

Welcome to our forum and thanks for your question.  I'll do my best to help.

Your risk for infection is quite low.  Most persons, even most CSWs do not have HIV.  If, per chance, one of your partners happened to have untreated HIV (HIV being successfully treated is not infectious to sex partners), the risk for infection from a single, unprotected exposure is less than 1 infection in over 2000 exposures.  When you had condoms used correctly throughout the sex act to the equation, the risk for acquiring HIV approaches zero.  Thus, presuming that you used condoms for your sex with the CSWs you describe, your risk for HIV is tiny, a very small fraction of 1%.  

I presume that your SO's flu-like illness has raised concern that you may have acquired HIV and then transmitted it to her.  FY, when persons get severe flu-like symptoms, while those symptoms may be caused by HIV, they are the cause of the symptoms less than 1% of the time with the remainder of symptoms being due to non-HIV, non-STI-related illnesses.  

The convergence of guilt and coincidence are the most likely problem here.  If my assurances are sufficient, then no testing is needed. OTOH, if you wish to prove that you have not given your partner HIV, virtually any HIV test take at this time will provide you with conclusive evidence of your current HIV status which I anticipate will be negative.  I hope this information is helpful.  EWH