I had condom-protected vaginal sex with a black female coworker who has had multiple partners.  My penis may have touched her vagina slightly above the condom.  Our groins did not press against each other.  I touched the outer part of her vagina with my hands briefly.  I had no broken skin on my penis or hands before or after.  I showered shortly afterward.  During sex she seemed uncomfortable when I penetrated more deeply.  I’m not large!  I’m concerned she had an STD I could not see.  Fourteen days after I sensed a bit of an itchy anus and decided to take a look because I was paranoid.  In one of the folds on the perineum just outside where the anus constricts I saw what looked like a partially healed lesion about a third of an inch by a quarter of an inch.  It was dark looking as if it was bruised and looked like blood under the surface.  Only part of the area looked as if the skin had been broken and was healing with no visible scab.  This area was mostly lengthwise along the fold line and there were no other abnormalities.  Thinking I needed to hurry before anything changed I got an examination by an ER doc.  He said he saw no indication of herpes or STD and thought if the lesion was herpes I would have felt much more discomfort, “like knives” he said.  In fact he thought the lesion was a large freckle at first because of the darkness of the area with the folds bunched up.  During the next week the lesion gradually disappeared.  During the same period I noticed about half a dozen small red pimple-like spots that were spread out.  Two on left thigh, three across both buttocks, one on testicles.  None in a cluster.  I do normally have some pimple-like spots on my buttocks and thighs but I normally don’t pay attention to how they develop.  I’ve had some minor anal itching off and on, though I’m not sure if it is from having cleaned too much with soap or over/under wiping.  I haven’t had any other recognizable symptoms that I think go along with herpes or STDs.  I’m in a long term relationship with another woman and need to understand how I should proceed.  I don’t feel as if I can bring this to her attention.  Does my history indicate a clear risk and is consistent with a STD or am I overthinking this?  I would appreciate your frank assessment on what I should do from here.