Sorry to say I have returned but feel i would be irresponsible if not. Also, i am aware of Dr H's advice but this is something new - although again non sexual.

I visited the same massage parlor - really to put my irrational fears behind me but also to check her hands for secondary syphilis. Her hands were clean. Out of politeness i agreed to another massage. Again hj offered and refused. 

This morning i noticed a slight scratch on my leg, just above the knee. It was nkt actively bleeding as such but was most certainly broken skin. 

I wanted to be xompletely safe. never took my jeans off so she could not have touched this sore with her skin, but i don't know how i got this scratch - possibly her nails through the fabric? Coincidence perhaps and i scrarched myself in my sleep?

I know Dr HH warned me about non sexual exposures but have read blood to blood could cause transmission of HIV. 

If she was HIV and had a cut on her fingure say, would my trousers be a complete barrier for a blood borne virus?

I did not noice blood on her hands or on the outside of my trousers. Is this 100% an irrational fear?

Sorry docs, been through the mill abit lately and my visit was intended to see her hands, having nothing more than a covered body massage and go home with no fear. Seeing this cut has unnerved me a bit. Really appreciate your guidance. Should I have any fears whatsoever? Are clothes a complete barrier?

I realise this may seem obsessive - it probably is - but please explain to me if my trousers would act as an effrctive barrier or not? When reading about blood to blood, is it only in reference to deep bleeding wounds? So upset this cut had to happen as my only reason for going was to check her hands. I am truly sick of this anxiety. Please take question on face value doctors. There will be no more follow ups.

That blood exposure is a risk for HIV is correct, but health experts and educators often have done a poor job of explaining what that means. Direct exchange of blood, such as receiving a transfusion of HIV infected blood or injection with a needle contaminated with fresh, HIV infected blood are big risks. It could also be risky if you were to be massively exposed to blood, say if you were first on the scene of an auto accident and aided a person with substantial bleeding, got it all over your hands, put those hands in your mouth or eyes, there would probably be a small risk. But nobody gest HIV from exposure to small amounts of blood, i.e. the kinds of blood exposures that go with all human contact. For example, if you shake hands with someonw with HIV who has fresh blood on his hand and you had cut at hte point of contact, there would be little or no risk