Welcome back to the forum.
We try not to disagree with the opinions of doctors who have directly examined forum questioners. If your doctor is highly experienced in STD care and diagnosis, his opinion should be seriously considered. However, I have never heard of anyone with a new HIV infection whose only symptoms were coated tongu and/or a single tongue ulcer. While those certainly can occur with acute retroviral syndrome (ARS, i.e. new HIV infection), other symptoms always are present in my experience and in all scientific reports. Without some combination of sore throat, fever, enlarged lymph nodes (in several areas of hte body) and skin rash, ARS is very unlikely. In addition, the sexual exposure you describe sound very safe. You used a condom for vaginal sex; unprotected oral sex is very safe (there has never been a proved case of HIV transmitted mouth to penis); and your description of the sex toys and their use indicates those events also were risk free.
Presumably the doctor you mention is someone you saw in person, right? If so, surely s/he has ordered HIV testing. What test(s) are in the works? However, if that opinion is from another forum or other unofficial conversation, you can discount it. But since the issue has been raised and you're worried, of course you should be tested. A negative antigen-antibody (AgAb, "duo", "4th generation") blood test at this time will put you in the clear in regard to the February event. I would discount the March event with the sex toys, but if that concerns you, have another AgAb test about 6 weeks after that event. Based on everything you have said, I am very sure any and all these tests will be negative.
I hope this information is helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.