[Question #6863] Mental Health after diagnosis

12 months ago

I am female and have now had the herpes 2 virus for three years.  I was diagnosed from a swab test when it first happened. I had this virus transmitted to me on the first time I had intercourse with this particular male while using a condom.  While having sex it fell off and he was unaware of having the virus.  Still based on the statistics, there was a low chance of transmission and I had terrible luck that day.  I believe that I had just shaved that day too, which may have contributed to my skin being more sensitive to the virus.  I don't know. But it has affected me emotionally in many ways, and i eventually just put it out of my mind and accepted being alone. 

About three or four months ago, I met someone I really liked and decided to tell him.  He was kind and understanding, and told me is that it.  Thats what i was hiding from him.  However, it has been rough and possibly creating more psychological stress on me than not dating at all.  He is extremely kind, but ever since I told him, he treats me less and less sexual.  As if he wasn't even attracted to me because he doesn't want to encourage me to want intercourse.  We have had intercourse three or four times in four months and it almost feels like he is doing me a favor rather than truly being attracted to me. However, he is attracted to me and has no problem with me giving him oral sex.  
He has expressed his fears of not wanting to contract Herpes.  I do understand his concerns, and have gone over all the statistics provided to me by your service on low transmission rates from female to male. We do use condoms plus I take an anti-viral drug. However, everyday I think he pulls away from me more because in his words the longer he does this and the more often he may do it, the risk is higher for him. 
Which now has me feeling things I've never felt before.  Like I can't even date someone who will continue to find me attractive or want to have sex with me.  I think I may need some kind of therapy or help fr

12 months ago
Based on my previous question which cut me off mid sentence, I was wondering if there were any online therapy sites that you could recommend that specialize in these situations or any other helpful advice you might have. 

Thank you. 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
12 months ago
Good morning, I feel pretty certain that I"ve answered this question from you.  I'll check the previous posts  - odd.
Anyway, I would strongly suggest a website called Herpes Opportunity.  I like their approach very much and I've had several patients find this website to be very helpful.  How about if you give it a try and let me know what you think?