Hello,

Very concerned here. Sorry for the graphic descriptions but I feel it is necessary to detail the complete encounter. I a male who met with another male and I played with a toy anally in front of him. The toy was rather large and I noticed spotting of blood on toilet paper afterward when taking a break to use the restroom. About 5-10mins later the guy proceeded to give me oral sex and he was masturbating,  before I could stop him he spit in his hand, likely masturbated some more,  and jammed him finger up my anus for about 30 secs rather roughly. I'm concerned because I'm sure he had some pre cum on his finger and saliva and it came into contact with my still fresh wound from playing with the the toy.  Of course I have had a bevvy of ARS symptoms and I'm going nuts here.

I've read through countless other similar stories on your forums before posting, but I think my situation may be unique with the fresh wound. Also, the whole sharing sex toys as a route of transmission is also concerning and confusing to me. Please link your opinion. Thanks.

HIV is rnot transmitted by any exposure that does not involve penile penetration. Without actual anal sex, the events you describe are zero risk for all practical purposes. Exposure to saliva is risk free; there has never been a scientifically validated transmission oral to penis by oral sex (and only rarely for penis to oral exposure). Hand-genital contact and fingering are risk free, even if saliva is used for lubrication. In theory, sex toys could transmit infection if inserted immediately after use by an infected person (within minutes, before fluids have time to dry). However, this also is believed to be a rare occurrence. And if the toy had not been another person's rectum or vagina in the preceding minutes -- and especially if cleaned between uses -- there would be no risk at all.

From the standpoint of actual risk, you don't need HIV testing and really needn't be worried. However, if (like many on this forum) you would be more reassured by being tested, you could do that in a few weeks. Alternatively, talk to your partner, if you're in touch with him:  you could both be tested now, without waiting. If he has a negative result, you'll know for sure you could not have been exposed. 

My last comment is to advise that for similar events in the future, you have a conversation about HIV status with your partner. Think how much less worried you would be now if your partner was confident he doesn't have HIV; or if he does, that he is on effective treatment with suppression of his infection.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD