[Question #7093] Unprotected vaginal sex

8 months ago
44y/o male.  Unprotected vaginal sex with 38 y/o female.  Both married with kids-we live in different states but work together. Have had sex before several times over last 2 years as an affair.  She tested COVID-19 positive 3 weeks ago, but cleared from isolation 1 week before we had sex. Timeline:
-7/7 @ 8:30pm, we have unprotected sex for about 5-7 minutes. I cum inside her (she can't have kids). We had dinner/drinks beforehand at a restaurant.
- 7/8 morning, I feel slight general malaise and diarrhea.
- 7/9, some diarrhea but start to feel much better
- 7/10, I feel fine...no symptoms and examine my penis every day before having sex with my wife.
- 7/15, morning - have sex with wife, feel pain at base/underside of penis when I thrust in. I finish in 7-10 min and cum inside her.I examine penis after and see 1mm abrasion. Doesn't look like blister, just raw skin. No pain unless I touch it.  NOTE - I had done penis stretching/jelqing exercises for a couple of days beforehand, so I'm wondering if it's just from that. 
- 7/16 morning, start to put Neosporin on abrasion every day
- 7/18 (today) - abrasion still there...looks a little better but mostly the same.  No symptoms yet expressed from my wife.

How likely is it herpes?  This woman has said she doesn't have it, but most people don't know they do.
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
8 months ago
I would strongly suggest that you have the abrasion evaluated by a professional as soon as possible and a swab test done if the clinician has any concerns at all that this could be herpes.  And I would also suggest that the partner that is not your wife have a herpes antibody test done.  Let me know how all of this goes, OK?  I am concerned.

Terri
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8 months ago
Yikes, now you have me concerned. The lesion is almost gone, so would observing or swabbing it do any good by the time I get in to see a clinician?  I did ask her if she had any symptoms around the time we had sex, and she said no. She gets a bit defensive when I ask because she feels like I’m accusing her of being dirty. 

Does the slight malaise/diarrhea the morning after sex concern you as a symptom? I would’ve thought that’s related to having a couple sugary alcoholic drinks and dinner, and that herpes symptoms wouldn’t show up that fast.  Is that incorrect? Also, I do have a bit of IBS so my gastrointestinal tract is easily upset. 

I seriously figured the abrasion was due to exercising and stretching my penis. I believe I’ve had something like this happen before. 

By the way, I’ve been HSV 1/2 antibody tested many times over the last years and it has always been negative. Last time tested was Nov 2019. 

Thanks for your response. I’m a bit of a worry wart, so now you have me worried :/. 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
8 months ago
I think the malaise and diarrhea could be due to anything and usually, herpes symptoms don't show up the next day. 
It's good that you've been tested previously for HSV 1 and 2 by the IgG test.  I'm sorry I worried you but an abrasion on the penis always gives me some worry, and obviously you were worried enough about herpes to write here, correct?  You could either simply move on now and wait for another lesion to swab test or you could get another antibody test about 10-12 weeks after the lesion appeared.  What do you think?

Terri
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8 months ago
Thanks Terri.  The abrasion worried me too obviously, enough to write about it here as you said.  

If the woman said she’s never had symptoms of anything and has been tested for STDs in the past (she has 3 year old twins), although likely not the HSV blood test, what are the percentage chances that she passed HSV-2 to me as a carrier exhibiting no symptoms? I’m circumcised, which I heard may reduce the chances. We only had sex for maybe 5 minutes.   

I have told her that maybe she should get an antibody test. 

This morning, I dabbed rubbing alcohol on the remnants of the lesion and it didn’t sting at all. If this were an initial outbreak, would the lesion heal within a week? I though it takes at least 1-2 weeks. 

By the way, my wife contracted HPV years ago from a lover when we were more open in our marriage.  She had visible warts removed. Do you think it could be HPV that caused it?

I guess at the end of the day, herpes isn’t a serious thing which is why it seems IgG is never really pushed by clinicians, correct?  After reading more, it seems the shame of finding out is worse than the disease itself.  So, I’m thinking I just move on and maybe do IgG after a few months. 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
8 months ago
HPV would not cause an open abrasion, no.
We don't have statistics specifically about transmission from an asymptomatic person who is infected but doesn't know it.  An antibody test for her might really help to put your mind at rest.  Have you ever in your life had a cold sore on your lip or in your nose?  If yes, then we know you are HSV 1 positive and would not subsequently acquire this strain genitally. 

Terri
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8 months ago
I’ve never had a cold sore. Plus, I’ve done the IgG test numerous times over the years, and it has always been negative for both HSV1/2. 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
8 months ago
I asked because the igG test misses 30% of HSV 1 infections.
This is my final response on this thread.

Terri
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