I had oral sex performed on me by a North American female CSW. She indicated she was not HIV positive.

I am extra cautious, so washed my hands and put one of the condoms she provided on myself. She undressed and performed quite rough oral sex on me, and I felt teeth quite a lot. I held the bottom of the condom in place throughout as further precaution. 

Maybe 15 minutes into the act, I pulled my penis out and noticed a brand new dark coloured bump on the head of my penis, close to the urethra, but a little lower. I immediately stopped the act and went to the washroom, removed the condom, filled it with water to check that it was intact (it was still intact). I then washed my hands and took some toilet paper and gently touched what I now believe to be some trauma caused by friction. It didn't seem to be bleeding, and I washed my penis. I then inspected the condom again, filled with water again to make sure that I didn't miss a leak (I didn't). I also didn't notice any blood on the condom from the lady's mouth, but not 100% sure as I had been filling the condom with water.

The condom was definitely covering the little wound throughout the act as the wound was on my penis head. 

The next day, while showering, I noticed the wound bleeding. The following day though, the wound had completely healed.

Am I at HIV risk? I am still trying to get back with my estranged wife. Should I get tested before having sex with her again. This is my only sexual risk and only sexual act since my last negative HIV test a year ago.

Thank you!

I'll start by pointing out that all your questions, including this one, reveal an unnecessary fear of HIV and other STIs, considering the exposures described. As we have advised in the past, hand-genital contact, massage, lap dances, contact through clothing all are zero risk, and even without a condom, oral sex is risk free in regard to HIV and low risk for other STIs.  In this instance, I agree the spot on your penis must have been an abrasion. Since the condom remained intact, there was no possibility it could have been exposed to any infection. I do not recommend testing for anything, and there is no possibility you have acquired any STI you could transmit to your wife if and when you get back with her.

And by the way, there is no such thing as microscopic condom defects that would allow signfiicant exposure. It's an urban myth, and there is no need for water testing after sex. If a condom breaks wide open, it would be obvious; otherwise you can safely assume protecton was complete.

Do try to believe this advice you have now heard several times. If you don't have unprotected vaginal or anal sex, you really shouldn't need to spend good money on our advice after each exposure that makes you nervous. ASHA appreciates the donation, and every penny helps serve its important sexual health mission, and we thank you! But in the future you should be able to safely predict what we would say, regardless of the details.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Thank you again.