[Question #7227] Contact With Vaginal Fluids
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60 months ago
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I’m a 45 year old female who has had HSV2 after a sexual assault for 26 years. I am taking Valtrex 500mg twice per day and have been for years to prevent transmission risk. I am currently in a relationship with a married man, but we have both agreed to not have intercourse....never going to happen. Our relationship currently consists of mutual masterbation...Him fingering me, touching my ciltoris, etc. and me touching him sometimes after I have touched myself and sometimes not. Because we are not going to have intercourse and based on answers I have read here, I have not told him my HSV status. I do not see any reason to. My questions: if he touches my vaginal area inside or outside and secretions (not during an outbreak), then were to touch his urethra or any part of his penis, is this considered no risk contact, because it is vagina to hand to penis? If I finger or touch myself and then touch his penis with my hands, is this considered no risk contact? Does it matter if I am using a lubricant during these encounters? Does it dilute vaginal fluids lowering the risk further?
Also, we have not discussed oral sex. I know he would be zero risk from me giving him oral sex. I do not have HSV1 or 2 orally. What are the odds of him acquiring HSV2 orally from giving oral sex to me? He has HSV1 orally. Does that give any protection from HSV2 orally? I am aware this carries more risk than mutual masterbation.
Thank you so much for this forum and doctor driven expert advice. It is a blessing.
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
60 months ago
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The mutual masturbation is extremely low to no risk at all. I think you're OK and don't need to disclose your herpes status to him. If he has a break in the skin of the hand or finger, there may be some very minimal risk of him acquiring HSV 2 on the finger, herpetic whitlow.
His oral HSV 1 infection MAY offer some protection against acquisition of HSV 2 but I wouldn't count on that with any certainty. If he did acquire HSV 2 by giving you oral sex, which I also think is highly unlikely, it would look just like the cold sores that he already gets but it could be shed very infrequently from the mouth after the acquisition, even when he doesn't have a cold sore looking lesion.
The duration of your infection and the use of suppressive therapy both speak to you being a low risk partner for him.
I understand that this might be a rather difficult situation for you.
Terri
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60 months ago
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Thank you so very much for your advice. You are right. I have found myself in a difficult situation. This situation evolved from a long term friendship and supporting each other through a mutual tragedy. We care for each other, and I certainly do not want to pass anything to him or possibly his wife.
One more thing to clarify: What if I were having prodromal symptoms or an unnoticed outbreak (This is unlikely. I am just asking a hypothetical question.), would the mutual masterbation I discussed with you above carry the same zero to low risk due to the nature of vagina to hand to penis contact, or would this situation carry more risk? I feel I already know the answer about oral sex with me in this situation: increased risk, correct?
Thank you again for your advice and taking the time out of your busy schedule to answer my questions.
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
60 months ago
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An unnoticed outbreak would be similar to asymptomatic viral shedding, as well as prodrome. I still think this is incredibly low risk
I think I addressed the oral sex question above, but let me know if you need more information. yes, slightly more risk.
You know, sometimes we just find ourselves in these kinds of situations. It just happens. I've been in a similar situation as you are in and try as we might, the love and affection and attraction that we find becomes very important. Even essential. No judging here. For sure. Your concern for him and his wife is appreciated.
Terri
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60 months ago
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You have been so very helpful, kind, and understanding while answering my questions. It is appreciated more than you know. It has put my mind at ease. With the oral sex part of the last question, slightly more risk than during the non-prodromal/non-symptomatic times, that makes sense. One last clarifying question, if possible, is touching the opening of his urethra higher risk than touching other parts of his penis after touching me with vaginal secretions on his hand? You may have very well answered that with your first answer. I’m sure I am being overly cautious and specific here. If I am, just tell me to refer to your first answer. Thank you again so much for all your help.
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
60 months ago
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Conceptually, touching the urethra with infected secretions might be riskier, but from a practical point of view, I don't think it makes a lot of difference or if you are worried, you could avoid this practice. BTW, I ran this thread by Dr. Hook and he totally agreed with my advice to you. I think it's essential, given your challenging situation, that my advice to you is as accurate as possible. he agrees that it is. Please feel free to come back and post again if you have more questions, OK?
Terri
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