Welcome to our Forum and thanks for your questions.  I'll be glad to comment.  Concerns about non-mucosal/skin exposure to menstrual blood or genital secretions are a common source of concern for out clients.  The good news however is that such exposures do not lead to infections.  The reasons for this are likely the fact that the sort of cells which forrn non-mucosal/skin are quite different than the cells of mucosal surfaces where virtually all sexually acquired HIV, as well as other STIs are acquired.  Thus your November encounter was a no risk event, even if your partner did happen to have HIV (very unlikely unless there was something you did not say) or other STIs. 

Obviously, your condom mishap in December did pose a risk if your partner happened to be infected.  FYI, condoms do break about 1% of the time with breakage being more slightly likely with new partners or rectal sex.  Even without these factors however condoms do fail slightly less than 1% of the time.  The presence of a healing HSV lesion does not markedly change your risk for infection.  Your 12/23 testing conclusively proved that you did not acquire gonorrhea or chlamydia.  Eight days after the exposure was a bit earlier in terms of ruling out the unlikely possibilities of syphilis and HIV.  Syphilis blood tests are reliable after 4-6 weeks and HIV test results are conclusive at 6 weeks after an exposure.  As I said above however both syphilis and HIV are far, far less common than chlamydia or gonorrhea and statistically it is unlikely that you were exposed.

My guess is that you did not acquire any STI from the exposure you describe.  Your partner states she was tested and most people tell the truth.  Further, even most exposures to infected partners do not lead to infection.  If you want to be 100% sure that you were not infected with HIV or syphilis, repeat testing is reasonable.  The only other STI for which there is any realistic reason for concern about is trichomonas which can readily be tested for using a urine test and, like the other potential infections, is unlikely. 

I hope these comments are helpful. EWH

Theoretically, if you have oral gonorrhea, chlamydia or syphilis you could transmit it through oral sex but only if you have oral infection.  Even then, transmission would be a rare event- remember, most exposures to infectious diseases, even STIs do not lead to infection.

If you have not been vaccinate for hepatitis B there is a theoretical risk of sexual acquisition of infection if exposed but this is quite rare. 

This is my 3rd response to your questions.  Thus, as per Forum guidelines, this thread will be closed shortly without further replies.  EWH