[Question #7236] Unprotected sex in the hot tub
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59 months ago
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I have HSV 1&2. My partner does not, and is very apprehensive about contracting it, so we are being careful. Our sexual activity is generally reduced to hand jobs for him, and he caresses my breasts while I use a vibrator. I want more, but I don't want to risk transmission. I would feel terrible if he caught it from me. We have used condoms, both male and female, and it does not protect against vaginal juices contacting him. I was wondering how safe it was to have unprotected penetration and oral sex on him in the hot tub. We disengage frequently to wash away any sexual fluids. The hot tub is not used by anyone else and we keep the chlorine at adequate levels. I've had a complete hysterectomy, so no chance of hot tub water going anywhere inside me.
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
59 months ago
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First, let me ask you exactly how you were diagnosed with HSV 1 and 2, just so I know we are both dealing with accurate information.
Are you taking daily antiviral medication? That reduces transmission by almost half. Has your partner actually been tested for HSV 1 and 2 antibodies to know that he is not actually infected already or is he just going by what he thinks?
Having intercourse in a hot tub really isn't a solution for transmission. If you take daily antiviral medication and he uses a condom and have sex about twice a week, the transmission rate is around 1-2% per year, so it is very low.
Let me know more about my questions if you don't mind.
Thanks
Terri
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59 months ago
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Thanks for your prompt answer. I had an IgG reading three years ago of 10.5 for HSV1 and 6.06 for HSV 2. I have had three outbreaks since then. I'm taking antivirals only during outbreaks. The transmission rate of 1-2% a year is still too much of a risk for him. He wants zero chance of transmission, so I guess there's not much more that we can do. Sad, I really love this guy. I believe my HSV 1 is genital, also. I haven't had a cold sore since I was 12. I'm 69 now. In my situation, how safe is kissing? He's afraid to do that, too.
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59 months ago
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Forgot to say partner had full panel STI tests before we became intimate. He's negative on everything.
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
59 months ago
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So you are firmly in the positive range for both HSV 1 and 2. If you've ever in your life had a cold sore (which you have), your HSV 1 is oral, not genital. If you've not had a cold sore since you were 12 years old, I think it unlikely that you are shedding very often from the mouth and if he in your age group, statistically, he is likely to be infected also with HSV 1, though it may not have been included in an STD screen, he could check. If it was included and he is negative, the IgG test misses 30% of HSV 1 infections compared to the western blot. So infection is possible in him, even if he tests negative for HSV 1 by IgG test.
It's kind of too bad that you love him because I personally don't think this situation is good for you at all, emotionally and psychologically. His fear and reluctance are likely to convey the message that somehow you are somehow flawed because of your HSV infection. You are NOT flawed. You have a medically minor skin condition. I'm sure you have many other lovely qualities and I'm also sure that he has some negatives that he brings to the relationship (well, we know his fear is one). If you stay with him, I hope you can avoid feelings of negativity about this, I really do. Many people who accept you exactly as you are. Please keep that in mind, OK?
Terri
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