[Question #7251] STD risks

7 months ago
So I guess, the anxiety is getting the best of me. I am currently separated (but married with a kid).

I got stupid on Friday night (3 days ago) and went to downtown San Jose, visited a few bars with outdoor dining. I met a group of girls, who were just chilling. I had a friendly talk with them and kind of clicked with one of the girls. We ended up having drinks together and while parting we ended up kissing (lip to lip) which might have lasted 40 seconds, may be.

While my personal life (being separated from my wife) is a complete awful mess, I just made it messier. I am not pursuing the girl I met at the club on Friday night, but I want to be clear on what to expect in terms of contracting a STD from this encounter.

Note it was a 40 second kiss (perhaps a minute long strecth) and nothing else. We hugged each other and parted ways. I checked the girl later on FB and she seems from decent background. I also dont think she had any open sores on her mouth, could not feel anything on her tongue either but meh I am stupid and was drunk at that, too :(


I seriously want to get back to my wife and kid, and hopefully put this mistake behind me and move on. But am freaked out at the possibility of contracting something from this. This is just day 3 and I really dont have any symptoms per say. The last intercourse or any kiss or anything sex I had was in August of last year. In Jan, 2020 I got tested for gonnorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis B/C, syphilis. NEGATIVE for all. So, in short, I do not have any STDs atleast prior to this kiss.  I also have met with dermatolgists and urologists for penile lichen planus rash but it is no-contagious and have been dealing with it since 2016. I was reassured by my doctors that I do not have herpes or HPV since the clinical presentation did not match and also the fact that my rash responded to corticosteroidal treatment.

I also keep getting recurrent inflammed taste buds since March and I have met with an ENT and dentist and they attributed this to my smoking and drinking habit and also my food (spicy) habits. So in short, nothing contagious or of concern there either. Perhaps oral thrush and tongue inflammation.


I plan to reconcile with my wife towards this year end and want to understand what are the chances of having contracted any STD whatsoever from this encounter.

Reading numerous posts here, I understand this is zero risks for all practical purposes and that I should move on; but a reassurance directed as an answer to my question would be great. In either case, I would like to get a realistic risk assessment here and whether it would be safe for me to get back with my wife/kid without worrying about this mess.

Your inputs are greatly appreciated.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
7 months ago
Welcome back to the forum.  But I have to agree with your self-assessment:  the only concern I see here is anxiety.

I glanced at your recent discussion with Terri, and agree there is nothing to suggest you have herpes. Don't get freaked out by genital skin problems like lichen planus:  95% of all penile skin abnormalities are not STDs and not related at all to sex, and most are minor condition. They are no reason for anxiety any more than minor dermatitis of your elbow or shoulder. 

As for the more recent evvent, kissing is risk free in regard to STDs. And no STD causes "inflamed taste buds".

Good luck on your planned reconsiliation with your wife. When that happens, I see no reason to be at all concerned about STDs.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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7 months ago
Awesome. Thanks so much doctor, that is reassuring. It was a lip to lip kiss (deep kissing, possibly saliva exchanged). I assume this does not change your assessment, but something worth clarifying.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
7 months ago
Thanks for the thanks; I'm glad to have helped. (I knew what sort of kiss it was. No kissing, including open-mouth ("French") kissing, is risky for STDs.)---
7 months ago
You are awesome :) I have been following your threads since the medhelp days by the way, thank you so much. You have made my day :)
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
7 months ago
Thanks again for your kind comments. I'm glad to have helped. Best wishes and stay safe.---