Hi Guys

I know the forum does not like questions about the same exposure. However, I would like some clarification on a few things. Firstly, I would like to thank Terri for her time and I cannot be more complimentary to the whole team here. 

My main concern is I could have contracted herpes when the CSW pushed their bum/bum crack against my penis as I may have come into contact with her anus or vagina then. About a week later I asked her if my penis touched her anus or vagina during the session and she said it didn't. I thought that made sense logically since she said she does not offer natural services nor does she offer anal and she would be careful they didn't touch as she would not want to catch anything from me. I think the thigh sex and sex on the top of the butt cheeks with her lying on her stomach is extremely low as well.

I have not had any sores or blisters externally (I was checked by my GP 3 times over a 3.5 week period after the exposure). We did not check inside the tip of my urethra though. 

The concerning thing is the penis pain returned around a couple of weeks ago but I thought nothing of it as it only lasted a day. On Friday the 9 October 2020 the penis pain returned which as before got better and also got worse. When I was having dinner with a friend the pain was very dull. But got worse again. On Saturday the penis pain was there again but as before it pretty much subsided while having dinner with my friend again. At times it was quite noticeable and at other times it was almost non-existent. On Sunday 11 October 2020 I woke up without the penis pain but it came back within a few hours. Also when I had this pain on Saturday (I cannot remember on Friday) I masturbated by grinding my flaccid penis against the mattress in my bed while wearing underwear. I did the same for Sunday morning.

I would like to know what the chances of this being herpetic urethritis are? I think it might be worth getting my urethra swabbed.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/opbpm4zq0arecwf/AAAqBpBxKpEQ0Z7ooosd-hUYa?dl=0 

Again thankyou for your service.

When trying to learn more about what might be going on with a patient, I must go back to the concerning event.  Your concerning event did not present a risk for acquisition of herpes.  I know herpes is a big concern for you but this experience just doesn't fit with you having this concern.  I understand that you are having penis pain but I honestly don't think herpes is the cause.  Herpetic urethritis is very painful - this isn't what you are describing.  I don't your masturbation is the cause of pain.  Have you had a prostate exam at all?  If not, I think you should consider having that done.  You really need to let the herpes worry go.  You've posted here before and I know this is a worry for you.  You need to move on.

Terri

I'd also like to add with the intergluteal sex I don't think I went into her ass crack and more rubbed/thrusted on the very top bit of the crack. I  slid off a few times so that would seem consistent with that.

Does what I mentioned above increase the risk of me catching herpes in the scenario? I think it would  as it would bring my penis closer to her private parts. Ie vagina, anus and perianal area. I am not 100% if my penis went in between her crack or not but I don't think so. This sounds weird but she was a size 22 at 5'10 so I doubt it would be very easy for anyone to slip into or even penetrate her crack in general. I think I only came into contact with her outer butt crack but are still not 100% sure.

When I asked her a week later if I came into contact with her vagina/vulva or anus and she said no does that sound about right from what I describe happened? She said she doesn't do natural or anal sex so I doubt she would want to put herself risk.

Should I have got my urethra swabbed when my penis pain initially came on 4 days out? Also when I  got my urine test 4 days after exposure when the pain came on

I know you have said the pain wasn't consistent with herpes but I would like to add a couple of details. The pain was very strong the first day it came on. I don't think it was extreme just quite strong. It felt more dull on the 2nd day of it and felt duller in the morning when I woke up but worsened throughout the day . On the third day if felt quite bad again. A few days later it became much milder. I was insanely anxious about it on the first few days so I think that could have magnified the pain. From memory it went up and down after that but was probably more dull than not. Also from memory it didn't burn when urinating. Maybe a little but not crazy painful or anything. I don't remember 100%.

Since the encounter I have had 3 pcr swabs over a 42 day period which have all been negative. 2 inside my urethra 2 days apart when the pain in the tip of my penis/urethra came back at 6 weeks after exposure and one on a bump I found on my penis around 20 to 25 days after exposure (which turned out to be a wart). Is this good evidence I don't have herpes? 

To this day (I have been watching less for the last couple of weeks though) I have not seen any sores on my genitals. A few days ago I did notice very bad anal/scrotom itching and a burning/hot sensation at night and during the day on my butt crack/butt cheeks. Do these sound like prodrome symptoms for herpes?

I  was thinking about getting a herpes blood test. But I am worried about a false positive result (also the fact it misses 9% of positives anyway). Is there any way to get a herpes western blot in Australia? According to this website a place in Sydney does them: https://medlab.com.au/testguide/herpes-simplex-virus-western-blot. Due to the fact the igg gives both false positives and misses 9% of positives I don't really trust it.

I know even having sex  with someone who is herpes positive the average odds are 1 in 1000 and I remember Dr Hook saying he has seen less than 5 people in his career out of thousands who have got herpes without sex  so using these figures it would put my odds at somewhere in the 1 to 100,000 to 200,000 or more range.

Assuming my extra info about the exposure hasn't drastically changed my risk profile what is the best way I can stop worrying about this? I know the odds are very low without sex but the problem is I keep thinking and worrying about 1 in 10,000 or 1 in 100,000 aren't good odds when you're the one. This anxiety is affecting my life quite badly still. I have a history of anxiety but before this is hadn't affected my life for years.

One thing I am struggling with as well is I said I haven't had any sexual experiences but that is not due to lack of opportunity. It has been mainly due to performance anxiety. I never intended on seeing a CSW in my entire life. I only saw one to help kill my performance anxiety and the only reason I didn't use a condom was because I had (and have in the past) trouble maintaining an erection with a condom. I just can't handle the idea of getting an incurable std from a csw without sex on my first successful sexual experience and the only reason I saw them was to prove to myself I can perform. It just seems super insulting and almost like why do I even bother trying maybe I am meant to be celibate forever.

I would like to be sexual with the girl I am seeing but I am still worried about this. It has caused some problems in our relationship. Due to fear of giving something to her I have rebuffed her advances which has resulted in her asking me if I am attracted to her or not (which I very much am). Given the new information do you think I can be confident I haven't got anything and therefore I cannot spread it to my partner?

Also the pain in the tip of my urethea has come and gone again today and yesturday. Is it worth getting it swabbed again.

I'm guessing intercrucal (thigh) sex is risk free? I know the handjob and boob job are risk free. I know I am not 100% sure on all the details but there was definately no penetrative sex.

Thanks again. You are a superstar?

I am profusely sorry about posting so much. I don't know if information is relevant or not so I would rather provide way too much information than too little.

Again I cannot thankyou enough Terri. 

You don't need to apologize.  We are here for the very purpose of answering your questions and reassuring you as appropriate.

I've read carefully everything that you have written and I just don't see anything here that concerns me that you might be at risk for acquiring herpes from this encounter.  If there was something, I would tell you.  Perhaps your anxiety about sexual things, in general, could be worrying you more than necessary?  I can't come up with a reason for your pain, I suppose if you masturbated with enough force, you could have done something to your penis, hard to know.  Nothing you described sounds like prodrome to me.

What can we do to help you get to a place where you can have sex with this woman you are interested in?  You could pursue the western blot testing at the site you listed, I suppose.  Or I could help you get a blood sample to the US for testing.  But I think that should be a last resort if you cannot put this worry behind you.  I would bet a million dollars that a western blot would be negative if this is your only sexual experience. 

I'm truly sad that you have this much anxiety about this encounter, but I don't think it is warranted from a science point of view.  And intercrucal (I had never heard that term before this) sex is not a risk for any STI.

Terri