Welcome to the Forum and thanks for your question.  I'll be glad to comment.  You don't say much about your partner but I will presume that you are located in the U.S. and that here is no reason to assume that your partner has had sex with other men or is an injection drug user.  That being the case (and, to be honest, even if he did not have those characteristics), this was a low risk encounter.  The reason I say that is that for non men with other men as sex partners, somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 in 1000 persons, at most have HIV and while other STIs are more common, most people do not have STIs.  Further, most single exposures to infected partners d not lead to infection.  Your tests serve to further confirm that you were not infected and should be believed.  The viral illness you experienced about two weeks after the encounter are most likely coincidental and I suspect you passed it on to your husband.

To answer your specific questions:

Thanks for your follow-up post and thoughtful reflections.  It's good to know that despite all the conflicting statements, your rational self (as opposed to our emotional selves [we all have an emotional self], where rationale arguments don't always suffice) sees the logic in my reply.  A major problem with the internet is that once there, things don't go away.  Further, both a strength and a weakness of the internet is that it is un-edited.  These facts allow confusing mis-statements, out of date information, and statements which are presented out of context to accumulate and sometimes shake our confidence.  Finally, all too many clinicians and even some "official" sites are so worried that they might be wrong that they take well proven scientific facts and then expand them in a mis-directed effort to "be sure" no appreciating the anxiety that such overly conservative recommendations cause.  Your GYN is, unfortunately, being overly conservative.  In 6 months your results for the encounter you described will be the same as they were most recently when you were tested.  Stay strong.  Over time, I suspect you will allow yourself to no longer worry about HIV from the encounter you described.

You are correct.  When persons become symptomatic from recently acquired HIV, those symptoms are not long-standing and typically resolve in a week or two following their onset.  When persons worry about HIV (and other illnesses, including other STIs) they tend to pay closer attention to themselves, their body, and sensations which are normally not noticed or felt to be abnormal.  This heightened awareness certainly can exacerbate concerns in the way you suggest. 

As you know, we provide up to three responses to each client's questions. This is my 3rd response. Thus this thread will be closed later today without further responses.  Take care.  Try your best not to worry.  You do not have HIV from the encounter you described.  EWH