So I found out many years ago via bloodwork that I am HSV-1 positive. I tested twice a couple of years apart and both igg levels were over 5.

I have been considering starting a friends with benefits relationship with a man. I am a man as well. This would be the first time I’ve had sex since finding out.

I did not want to keep my hsv-1 status a secret but found it hard  to actually say the word herpes so I told him I had cold sores in the past (which isn’t true). He got the message. He knows cold sores mean hsv-1 .

I TRULY believed he would not want to continue discussing having sex with me at all. I was sad but felt proud of myself for telling him about my status.

I was quite shocked when he came back a few days later. He wants to skip oral but is still very interested in performing anal sex with me (he’d always be the top and he’d always wear a condom). We won’t kiss and I won’t perform oral on him.

My dilemma comes from the fact that although I have HSV-1, I don’t truly know where it is. I’ve been guessing it’s oral because that’s where it usually resides but I’ve never had an outbreak anywhere of any kind as far as I can tell.

If it wasn’t for the bloodwork, I wouldn’t even know I have HSV-1. 

I spoke with my doctor and he’s written me a prescription for valtrex as a means for daily suppression and I’ve already started taking the meds.

I  don’t know what I should tell my potential fwb now. I don’t even know how likely it is I have genital hsv-1 as opposed to oral hsv-1. I’ve also not had many different sexual partners that I’ve had anal sex with. I’d say 3 men total.

I really was trying to do the right thing but now I’m not sure what to say, if I should say, or if me and him will both be ok with the steps I’ve taken. I do not want to give him anything. What should I do?