[Question #7406] Did I transfer my hsv1

3 months ago
Hi there,

Just about two years ago I was diagnosed with ghsv1 after my bf who had a history of recurrent cold sores performed oral sex on me. 

We’ve since broken up and I’m back in the dating world. I’m aware that I’m most likely only shedding approximately 4 days a year at this point and I’ve had no noticeable recurrences. 

I’m open with prospective partners about the fact that I carry hsv1 and answer any questions. The crazy part is how many of them then reveal they also have a history of cold sores. What a double standard. Anyways... 

Over a month ago I had unprotected sex with a man which included him briefly performing oral sex on me. Today he has informed me that he believes he is getting a cold sore on his lips and is convinced I gave it to him.

I’m quite upset. This doesn’t seem probable at all. That a brief episode of oral sex would result in him getting my ghsv1 orally.

I asked him if he’s kissed more than two women in his life and told him he’s very likely been exposed to hsv1 many time’s prior to any interaction we had. Also it sounds like he’s also had sexual relations with other women since me. 

So over this stigma. Feel like being open about herpes is being punished. 

What is the likelihood I passed this to him?
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
3 months ago
I think the likelihood that you transmitted HSV 1 to him is just incredibly, incredibly low!  First of all, you are highly unlikely to be shedding virus on any one day.   But the other thing is if he is getting a cold sore a month later, this could have been from any one at any time.  He's being a jerk about this.  Ignore it.  You did all the right stuff.  Good job!