[Question #7407] Mounting evidence or coincidence.

3 months ago
Hello good doctors. I am sorry to be asking another question here. Dr Hooks original response reassured me for some time but recently due to some new symptoms my wife is now having I am concerned again. Original question # 7231

I beg you gentlemen to please not dismiss this as just another anxiety driven post without first hearing what I have to say. If the symptoms my wife is experiencing were different from mine then it would be easier for me to attribute them to something else. And she is not anxious about HIV in the least bit so I cant attribute her symptoms to that. I am sorry to be asking these same questions again but I can not afford to be wrong here. Her life means more to me than my own. I will list the symptoms for my wife in the order of onset.  We are now also practicing unprotected sex with each other. I bear full responsibility for that decision. Neither of us has had any other exposures since the first.

My wife:
1. A terrible migraine headache and vomiting for 1 day. Shes now having headache more frequently although much less intense.  She does have a history of headaches before this but she described this as the worst one she ever had. This was roughly 2 months ago.
2. Fatigue that persists to this time. She does work long hours sometimes but in combination with the other symptoms I feel its suspect.
3. Diarrhea off and on for several weeks. In combination with the other symptoms shes having and with mine I find it concerning.

She did have a negative COVID test but I do not know if it was an antibody test or PCR test. In any case the test was recent so dont know if she was infected at one point or not.

As for myself I am now also having some small pain in my feet and sometimes hands now and again. Wondering if it can be nephropathy?
Again I know testing overrules symptoms but I can not afford to be wrong here. I am more concerned for her than myself. Please help

Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
3 months ago

Welcome back to our Forum although I must say that I'm sorry that you felt the need.  As I informed your previously, your HIV test results were absolutely conclusive and that no further testing related to your very, very low risk encounter was needed.  That led to an interchange related to what you characterized as an "HIV phobia". It also led me to state - "I suspect that some of the signs and symptoms that you have detected or a combination of hyper-awareness and detection of signs or symptoms which are normal and, in some cases, have been present for some time.....Other perceived signs or symptoms which may be due to some other cause." This is still the case and includes any illnesses that your wife may experience. 

The symptoms you report in your wife are not those of recently acquired HIV, nor are yours.  You need to accept this and move forward.  As I also said in our earlier interaction, if you cannot do this on your own (and it appears that you cannot) I urge you to seek an interaction with a trained counselor to help you address your "phobia" wand associated guilt.  .  I say this out of concern for you, nothing more. 

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3 months ago
I do feel very foolish Dr Hook and I do not mean to be insulting or question your expertise in any way. I know you are a very respected expert in your field and know what your talking about. Its just my primary care provider has not been able to tell me anything about what other illness this could be so I feel very lost here and alone with this. Apologies.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
3 months ago
No need to apologize.  What is needed here may need the attention of someone other than your PCP.  EWH
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